[celtic.starlite]

I was getting ready for bed and decided to check my Facebook just one more time. Up pops a post someone I went to school with shared. The pic is of a man's had and somehow the skin was completely torn off a finger leaving all bone and muscle behind.
Flashbacks are going. My mind is racing. Anxiety/Panic. How am I going to sleep now?
I can hear the voices loud and clear, even after 12 years. Hear him asking me to help him. I hear him screaming, "I'm going to die! Someone help me! Please! I'm going to die! I'm going to die!"
I didn't move. I froze. I was supposed to help him. I know how to help him. But I froze. I froze. I was right there. The closest person to him. I knew how to help him but I didn't. I couldn't move. I just froze.

[phoenix7]

Im so sorry that happened to you was the person helped by another ? i hope so.

The thing is , and its taken me a long long time to learn this... you can't change the past no matter how hard you try or how much you want to.

I would say jmo, that we all have done , or havnt , as the case may be, somthing that we would change if we could - I know i have.....

I know by now you will prob have moved past this anxiety, i hope so - but if not or if it happens again remember this - these are things a good friend told me and i pass them on to you

1 it's not happening now - even though it feels that way - remind yourself its the past and cant be changed

2 stop beating yourself up about it - what you did or didnt do makes no difference now - forgive yourself for being human and not a Superhero - we all have things we can and cant do - and things we do or do not do - you are human we stuff up , boy do we stuff up.

3 Try to ground yourself by touching an uneven surface, holding ice in your hand tight , making a really really strong coffee and taking one sip only

4 Remember to breathe - this is hard we tend to go into emergency breathing (rapid and shallow) and this doesnt help - breathe in count to five - breathe out count to five - do diaphramatic breathing if you can

5 If it was me i wouldnt try to sleep - i would distract myself wiht other things to get it out of my head and probably sleep wiht the light on that night in case of nightmares - my distractionsare my cat , phone games , games on here

6 and when you can and if you can get some support - rl or here

I really hope things are better for you today....

P7

[celtic.starlite]

Thank you.
Yes, I'm doing better today. Yes, the teacher was able to help him and start a tourniquet, and keep him conscious until the paramedics showed up.
I will be bringing this up to my T in my session today if we have time (have a LOT to talk about today).
Yes, those are all great steps in helping with the triggers and flashbacks. I usually remember the breathing after I notice how shallow mine is but the others.... sometimes I remember and sometimes I forget.
I'm not yet at a point where I can forgive myself for anything... hopefully some day soon. :-/
Thank you for your kind words and suggestions, I appreciate it.

Be well,

Celtic

[Open Eyes]

Freezing in a situation is the same as "stuck in fear and shock". It's just the way you reacted, is wasn't your fault either. The flashbacks are based in "shock and fear" too because that situation caught you in complete surprise. The brain can do that when taken by surprise like that where you have never been in a trauma that way before.

[celtic.starlite]

I didn't get to talk to my T about this today, as there were just too many other things to discuss.

Thank you both for the kind words and support.

Celtic