[ThisWayOut]

figured out a bunch of transference stuff after therapy this weekend (by figured out, I mean I realized that is likely what's happening). It's making everythign else kinda fall down too. Like if therapy's not safe, and home is not safe, then what is? Not sure what to do about all this. Flashbacks are getting worse again and the grounding only helps for a bit... I just feel so broken.

[JaneC]

(((((TWO))))))

So sorry things are so tough for you. I wish I had some useful words of advice, but I am not sure I do, so all I can offer is a kind and warm, caring

Oh, maybe one comment, without knowing the deeper concerns about therapy not being safe. And please ignore this if it in no way resonates or relates to what has happened for you.

I have felt, from time to time, that therapy hasn't felt very safe...in fact often! Last week I realised that I was suddenly terrified at the idea of doing something specific with T, and it was because of historical issues that I couldn't name but 'felt'. Now, when I feel this with T, I try my best to voice it and try to work through it with him. Now...... I've been seeing him for 19 months, so I feel like I do trust on a certain level, so if I can connect with that, eventually, then I know we can work the other **** that comes up.....from my side.

I have been furious, furious beyond belief with T for days now.... but I do know that given the rest of the relationship we will eventually work through this too.

Ok, oops, that was a whole lot of blah to get to this........ is there any way that given your relationship up til now, that you can work through this recent 'transference' issue with T?

Please take kind care of yourself hun. Sending kind thoughts your way.

[ThisWayOut]

Thanks Jane,

I hope we can work through it. It's a fairly new relationship (just started seeing her in July). She has seemed genuine and nice and all for the most part, but I think the transference has been there from very close to the beginning. I experience her as caring one minute and harsh the next (pretty much how I expereince my parents, so I'm guessing that is what it is).

I really wish I could talk to her about it now to try to get it to feel safer... She's got a really limited schedule though. :/ i'm also having trouble feeling connected between sessions.

I dunno... I hope it gets better soon.