[Evening]

I managed to get some shifts at one of our other stores at work, which was pretty exciting for me as I need the hours. But now, I'm not as excited about it because there is a staff member there who is apparently quite nasty. It's not just one or 2 people who have said this, we're talking 5 or 6 people in different stores. She isn't exactly happy that I got 'her' hours. She isn't in charge, but she claims she is and has said she wants nothing changed in the store, even though it isn't her decision. She doesn't want me doing petty cash, banking, anything really, even though I am in a higher position in the store I mainly work at than she is in this store.
Well I'm doing my first shift there tomorrow, and apparently she said she is going to come in. I am really worried, as I know she will not be nice. Not a single person has said a remotely nice thing about her, ever, and even the state manager told me to basically avoid her, as she is not the easiest to get along with. I was told she went into the state managers store 3 times in one day in regards to myself and another staff member getting a day each a fortnight because she is so unhappy with the situation.
I'm so stressed about it, because I know it's coming, and people being nasty or talking down on me is a huge trigger for me, I spent years being treated like that growing up and don't do well to being treated second best, especially on my first day in a new store, by myself, by someone who is not actually in charge. People are supposed to be welcoming, not treating someone as though they have no right to work there. And to say that they don't want me handling money because I might spend it on myself is really offensive, if I were that much of a moron that I was going to steal money from my own work I'd steal from a store that actually made money to steal. Duh.

Anyway, I needed to vent, and stress, because I don't know how I'm going to cope tomorrow. I know I've got everyone else on my side, I'm not the only person who has been (or is about to be) treated so bad, and I know that head office is aware of how she has been acting, as well as the fact I never would have been promoted to supervisor if I sucked. And I know that there are plenty of people who can vouch for the fact she is not a good person, and nobody that can say I'm not. So I know I shouldn't have to worry. But I'm needing a bit of extra encouragment to get me through tomorrow without getting super anxiety. I was really looking forward to working in this store because it's a different change of pace to what I'm used to, and it's in a different location so it isn't the same place and the same work. My face goes red quite easily, which is going to suck if she triggers me, and I get such an adrenaline rush from triggers that I shake and sometimes have to hold back crying, which is going to be embarrassing because people will find out about it, the way news spreads in our stores.

It isn't nice knowing ahead of time that you are going to possibly have to deal with being triggered, and not having a way out of it. Waaaa.

[Open Eyes]

Hi Evening, I am sorry that you have to deal with an individual that so many others feel threatened by. When a person behaves the way you have discribed this individual, it is clear that this individual really struggles with "fear" herself. It could very well be that this woman was herself a victim and these behaviors she has are only her way of trying to have a sense of control.

When you have to address this kind of situation or individual, you can actually avoid being triggered if you make an effort to think about what the behavior means in an individual and that it isn't about you, it is a person who may have a similar history as you but reacts to "self protect" not by running away but instead goes into "fight" mode.
In other words, she gets triggered too, but reacts in a way where she doesn't feel "safe" when others are involved with "her" things or what she feels as her territory. What you are seeing is a "child" that had "boundary challenges" and now as an adult "stresses" whenever she feels her boundaries are threatened. She is being "hyper vigilant" when she behaves this way. This is a sign that this individual is in danger of experiencing a "stress breakdown" , which could develop into "PTSD". This behavior means she is already "catastrophizing" possible "threats or dangers of being invaded".

A big part of helping yourself to "not get triggered" is to understand what is behind this kind of person's behaviors and that what they are expressing is a "victim mentality". Evening, the sad part about this woman's behavior is that eventually her actions will result in her being "expelled" at some point which will most likely send her over the edge of feeling that she "failed" to protect herself. Remember, this is "hyper vigilant" behavior. It is actually "pretty sad" too, because this woman most likely doesn't understand "why" she has a "need" to do this. She most likely doesn't even realize this is her own "victim mentality" and it is going to eventually lead to the very thing that she "fears".

It took me a long time to even begin to realize this myself. I have had to deal with this kind of mentality in my old sister and it triggered me, and still does, so badly that for a long time I could not even hear her voice without being triggered badly. My older sister, catastrophizes, is condescending, controlling, hyper vigilant, struggles with "anxiety attacks", and has lashed out at me, especially when I had experienced a stress breakdown after my experiencing so much unexpected loss myself. I was really "hurt" by her "bad" reaction when I struggled. It has only been recently that I have been able to look at her in a different light. And what you have discribed is what I have had to learn how to recognize myself about a person that is "hyper vigilant" and "controlling" and who's behaviors are actually pushing others away rather than resulting in "healthier team work".

It is hard to work around this kind of individual too, one has to dig deep to find some kind of "compassion" instead of feeling "fear" too. To understand that what you are seeing is a "train wreck" that is going to happen in that person's future, in spite of their best efforts to "avoid" it with their hyper vigilant behaviors.

[Silent_Tears_17]

I am so sorry. First days of work are always hard. And this is obviously so much harder. Just remember, your response to her being mean is very normal. I know that doens't help, but it doesn't scream "Mental health issue". It may feel like it does. What it says is, that girl is really mean and the girl she was mean to had a normal (noting normal) response to being "abused" (using the term loosely) by a coworker.
Word may spread if something happens. But the focus wouldn't be on you. More like "Did you hear what X did? She was horrible to the new supervisor. She did A,B, and C. And she really upset her." I know thats not ideal. But im not good at giving false, fluffy answers.
We are learning a lot about this stuff in social psychology (Im a senior pysch. major). I know it doesnt feel like this. But if something happens, its not on you. Its on her. And everyone is going to know that.
You cant do anything wrong here. Everyone knows she is mean. If you get upset, that's ok. If you don't, that's ok. You are in charge in that store, and you are the "nice one". (Think Star Wars jedi, nothing they can do is wrong - they're the good guys).

Good luck. And tell us how it goes.