I wasn't sure if I should put this in the abuse forum or here, but I think the focus isn't so much the abuse itself, but my PTSD symptoms going on with it.

Last night I had a disturbing "dream", in this "dream" I was still in high school and I was waiting after school to be picked up by my mom, but she was running late. (I mean, so late that it was dark outside) My school was close to a lot of stores, so I told my teacher that I'd go to some of the stores and ask the strangers if I could catch a ride from them. My teacher offered to drive me home, himself. So I get in his car and instead of driving me home he drove me to an empty parking lot.

As if that wasn't already disturbing, from there he starts to threaten me and say if I don't have sex with him, he'll never take me home. So, in my "dream" I had sex with him and it was so graphic and it felt so real I felt stuck in my dream and when I woke up I felt even worse.

Now, I have never, EVER been in a car, alone with a teacher before, so I know that wasn't at all true. But could the memories of the "sex" be a part of a flashback that's manifesting itself in my dreams? This isn't the only dream I've had like this lately, it's been happening quite frequently. But, it just felt so real, the "sex" I mean.

I'm a little scared to go to sleep because I don't want to have anymore dreams like that. It took me YEARS to get to this point in life where I'm no longer afraid of sex, but this nightmare... I think it just made me take twenty steps back. I feel disgusting thinking about it, it makes me feel horrible about sex and it makes me feel horrible about everything.

I guess what I my question/point is...
What am I supposed to do? Was this just a silly old nightmare, or is it probably related to my PTSD? And what is one supposed to do about feeling sick to their stomach when thinking about sex? Lately, before all these "dreams" started, I was feeling pretty comfortable with sex, but now it's not comfortable anymore.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

I wasn't sure if I should put this in the abuse forum or here, but I think the focus isn't so much the abuse itself, but my PTSD symptoms going on with it.

Last night I had a disturbing "dream", in this "dream" I was still in high school and I was waiting after school to be picked up by my mom, but she was running late. (I mean, so late that it was dark outside) My school was close to a lot of stores, so I told my teacher that I'd go to some of the stores and ask the strangers if I could catch a ride from them. My teacher offered to drive me home, himself. So I get in his car and instead of driving me home he drove me to an empty parking lot.

As if that wasn't already disturbing, from there he starts to threaten me and say if I don't have sex with him, he'll never take me home. So, in my "dream" I had sex with him and it was so graphic and it felt so real I felt stuck in my dream and when I woke up I felt even worse.

Now, I have never, EVER been in a car, alone with a teacher before, so I know that wasn't at all true. But could the memories of the "sex" be a part of a flashback that's manifesting itself in my dreams? This isn't the only dream I've had like this lately, it's been happening quite frequently. But, it just felt so real, the "sex" I mean.

I'm a little scared to go to sleep because I don't want to have anymore dreams like that. It took me YEARS to get to this point in life where I'm no longer afraid of sex, but this nightmare... I think it just made me take twenty steps back. I feel disgusting thinking about it, it makes me feel horrible about sex and it makes me feel horrible about everything.

I guess what I my question/point is...
What am I supposed to do? Was this just a silly old nightmare, or is it probably related to my PTSD? And what is one supposed to do about feeling sick to their stomach when thinking about sex? Lately, before all these "dreams" started, I was feeling pretty comfortable with sex, but now it's not comfortable anymore.

Your title question...nightmare or flashback.... the difference between a nightmare and a flashback is a nightmare happens when you are asleep its a bad dream . a flashback is when someone is awake and something triggers them into reliving a memory as if that memory is happening right now....

example....(Im going to use a generic non abusive memory so as not to trigger anyone..)

one night I had a nightmare of my dog being hit by a car. I was asleep and had a very vivid dream about this event.

one day I was out for a walk and had a flashback.. I heard a dog barking which triggered the memory of a dog barking when I was a child. during the remembering of this I felt like I was that same child I was and that the dog from my childhood was in a car barking. even though I knew I wasnt a child anymore the memory felt real as if it was happening today not years ago in the past.

now for what you posted...you stated you were dreaming so this was a nightmare not a flashback, because flashbacks happen when you are awake nightmares happen when you are asleep.

what are you supposed to do about it... only you know what you want and must do about it..my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers or a treatment provider in your off computer location, they can help you work through why you are having this nightmare and help you figure out what you need to do in order for it to not bother you any more.

when I have nightmares I usually do something calming like write, paint or call my treatment provider.

[Werewoman]

I can't answer whether it was a nightmare or a flashback for certain, but were you ever raped or sexually abused that you remember? If not, it's possible something happened (not necessarily sexual abuse or rape, but having someone - especially a caregiver - make you feel uncomfortable sexually could be enough to cause your problem) you are not yet ready to confront. That's what happened to me. It's been many years since I've had nightmares about sex.

Luckily, I have a very patient husband that has helped me get over it so that sex is now enjoyable for me.

Do you see a therapist? If not, this could be your 'wake-up call' to find one. Otherwise, I hope you are sharing this with him/her.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

Your title question...nightmare or flashback.... the difference between a nightmare and a flashback is a nightmare happens when you are asleep its a bad dream . a flashback is when someone is awake and something triggers them into reliving a memory as if that memory is happening right now....

what are you supposed to do about it... only you know what you want and must do about it..my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers or a treatment provider in your off computer location, they can help you work through why you are having this nightmare and help you figure out what you need to do in order for it to not bother you any more.

when I have nightmares I usually do something calming like write, paint or call my treatment provider.

Can a flashback ever happen during sleep, or is that always considered a nightmare? Or, like, what I'm trying to ask is, can flashbacks cause nightmares, rather?

Since I already have my dream written down here, I'm probably going to copy and paste it to give to my therapist when I see her. I was/am still pretty spooked by the nightmare, but I don't feel like it's important enough right now to talk to my therapist about it right away.

Originally Posted by Werewoman

I can't answer whether it was a nightmare or a flashback for certain, but were you ever raped or sexually abused that you remember? If not, it's possible something happened (not necessarily sexual abuse or rape, but having someone - especially a caregiver - make you feel uncomfortable sexually could be enough to cause your problem) you are not yet ready to confront. That's what happened to me. It's been many years since I've had nightmares about sex.

To answer your question, yes. I was raped a long time ago by my uncle, so I'm a little confused as to why my dream would involve my teacher. So, I was wondering if this nightmare was really just a memory of the rape I experienced but, the people were switched around because I was technically "dreaming".

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

Can a flashback ever happen during sleep, or is that always considered a nightmare? Or, like, what I'm trying to ask is, can flashbacks cause nightmares, rather?

Since I already have my dream written down here, I'm probably going to copy and paste it to give to my therapist when I see her. I was/am still pretty spooked by the nightmare, but I don't feel like it's important enough right now to talk to my therapist about it right away.

To answer your question, yes. I was raped a long time ago by my uncle, so I'm a little confused as to why my dream would involve my teacher. So, I was wondering if this nightmare was really just a memory of the rape I experienced but, the people were switched around because I was technically "dreaming".

no flashbacks can not happen when a person is asleep. A person can remember things in their sleep but they can not have a flashback...

theres a difference between remembering something and having a flashback....a flashback is literally reliving something from the past...

heres a quick and easy example...hold your favorite fruit and stake a smell. now close your eyes and think about when you last ate that fruit. easy to remember right. thats a memory. in some locations the fruit triggering this memory is called a sensory hallucination.

now instead of purposely picking a fruit and thinking about that fruit you are walking down the street and someone passes you with a citrus smelling perfume. this perfume triggers your brain into a flashback (reliving a moment in the past) you look around you and instead of being on a busy street you see you are in a tree orchard. you can feel the sunshine on you, smell the summer smells, and that fruit in your hand, well you can feel the bumps on its skin, see the vivid color, smell the fruity smell... everything is happening in your mind just like it did in the past when the event actually happened. its like you have jumped back in time and are going through that even all over again for the first time.

flashbacks happen when something in the present conscious moment causes your brain to literally relive a moment in the past.

can having a flashback cause a nightmare. sure they can. one day I had a flashback... I was walknig down the street and saw someone carrying a weird shaped package. I started reliving the memory of a trauma that happened at work. later that night I had a nightmare about that traumatic event.

I hadnt had nightmares about this traumatic event for quite sometime. but seeing that odd shaped package, then having the vivid flashback scared me to the point where that night I had a nightmare (a bad dream about the trauma)

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

Can a flashback ever happen during sleep, or is that always considered a nightmare? Or, like, what I'm trying to ask is, can flashbacks cause nightmares, rather?

Since I already have my dream written down here, I'm probably going to copy and paste it to give to my therapist when I see her. I was/am still pretty spooked by the nightmare, but I don't feel like it's important enough right now to talk to my therapist about it right away.

To answer your question, yes. I was raped a long time ago by my uncle, so I'm a little confused as to why my dream would involve my teacher. So, I was wondering if this nightmare was really just a memory of the rape I experienced but, the people were switched around because I was technically "dreaming".

I once knew a Vietnam Vet who's wife divorced him over his flashback/nightmares. When he was in country the barracks where he was stationed were close to areas being shelled by the VC. The soldiers had 'hatches' next to their beds and if the shelling started in the middle of the night, they would roll off their beds and open the hatches to where they took shelter underground.

When he returned stateside he would have flashbacks in his sleep where he thought he was under attack so he would grab his wife and roll off the bed to protect her. She didn't understand why he did it, and he told me it happened a lot when he first got back, and she just basically reached the end of her rope and left him over it.

I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle raping you. Why the dream involves a teacher instead of your uncle is a question for your therapist.

I hope you get to the bottom of this soon because that will help the nightmares go away. I used to have them all the time, but now, not so much, though when I do, it's bad and can take a few days for me to get over it.

God bless!

WW

[Open Eyes]

Yes Kori, that can happen, the brain often switches things around in dreams that can be upsetting.

If I have some kind of upsetting arguement with my husband at night, I can have terrible dreams that are very vivid of when he cheated on me and was mean to me when he was an active alcoholic. Sometimes other things come into these dreams that I don't know why they do, but that is just the way our brain can do things while we sleep in an effort to try to process something.

I will say that I have experienced night terrors which were horrible, so much so that I was afraid to go to sleep for a while. The night terrors were about the trauma I experienced, it was awful.

IMHO, I would say dreaming about a teacher and your mother that way is connected to the sense of "powerlessness" and being made to do something you did not want to do too. It sounds like your brain is trying to figure out how to put these emotional challenges together and store them/ process them.

OE

Thanks for the responses all.
I'm going to bring this up with my therapist when I see her next, which is this week.
I was just curious at to whether of not this nightmare was something related to the trauma or just my mind messing with me again.