[Ad Intra]

I don't have PTSD, but I've dealt with trauma before. I thought about my mom. She's been dead for 15 years but it still emotionally hurts. I don't miss her or want her back, frankly I would have probably been at odd with her through my teen years (I was 6 when she died). But I found her... felt her cold body and heard the EMTs. I was there for the whole thing.
Odd thing is I find this all sad, not because I found her dead, but a small child found their mom dead. I'm not sad because it happened to me, it's like I'm detached from it.
I'm not doing ok right now... This is a lot for me...

[kaliope]

I don't find that odd at all. I hope you get to feeling better.

[Parley]

I don't think it's odd but I had a similar conversation with a therapist before and I don't think she agrees with me.

I hope you're feeling better.

[Open Eyes]

That is a sad thing that a child that age would experience that. A child that age doesn't understand something like that, an adult would have a hard time experiencing that. It is also actually normal to feel detached while you are thinking about this scenario in the now too. Children are pretty resiliant because they don't understand a lot of things "yet". Most children are more apt to ask questions about what something means and "why". A six year old is really at the point developmentally when their brain has just formed a one personality too and they really don't have enough there to understand what to do with an experience like that either.

I noticed this is something that Disney had happen with his main charectors too. Bambi, Cinderella, Dumbo was separated from his mother, Mogli in the Jungle Book to name a couple off the top of my head. Yet, other Authors had their charectors have a similar challenge like the famous series "The Box Car Children" and "Huckleberry Finn".

You are at a point in your life where you have the ability to think about this more and what a loss like that has meant to you in your life up to now. There is a mourning process with that too, about what was "lost" to you in that challenge. You are now 21?
Well, that is at a point when an individual is trying to figure out who they are and what they want to do in life. Often one feels presured to know the answers, however, the average individual this age really doesn't quite know yet. It's ok to be at a place where you are taking an accounting of your own history up to this point too. It's just where you on your level of maturity are right now that is actually "normal".

[Parley]

I owe you an apology. I said I didn’t think it was odd because I believe it’s normal but i failed to admit I don’t think it’s healthy. My detachment caused a tragedy to implode because I didn’t just detach from an event; I detached from the relationship and every memory associated with it. It is as if I hit this tragedy and then allowed it to steal my past.

You were a LOT younger than I was and I’m not trained but it seems to me that a person that denies the first years of their life could find him/herself in an emotional meltdown as an adult. I realize most people don’t recall their younger years but i believe those emotions and attachments are more important than the ones I left behind.

You said you don’t PTSD and that is great but it sounds like those emotions are starting to seep through the cracks.

No~ I do not believe it’s odd that you have detached but I do believe it is something that should be addressed with a therapist.