*trigger* I had a pelvic exam today.

So I always make appointments with my obgyn but I always end up canceling because of my nerves. I went today because I really needed to. Now I just keep feeling phantom hands down there and I just want to lay here and cry. I can hold myself but I still feel the hands. it's been 9 hours now.

I don't know if a hug would be a good thing for you just now - if so, here is a virtual one

If not, please just ignore that and substitute something else which works better for you - a hand to hold, a comforting voice, whatever.

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this - is there someone you can talk to about it when you're ready? Anyone available to take care of you for a while?

For now, I hope you have a warm, cosy place to be and something soothing at hand. I find breathing exercises helpful, don't know if you do?

If you need to keep writing on here, that's fine - we will listen to you.

Bluegrey

I am sorry that is happening, I know it's hard. Just remember that it's a question and you need to acknowledge it and tell yourself "not now" and I am ok and have not been harmed even though "yes" that happened, it's not happening now.

The important thing to remember is to not "feed into it", acknowledging what is behind it and it was wrong or bad but you are now safe.

I think it was great that you were strong and went through with the exam even though it was so hard. You gained in that even though this question is taking place. Keep following through with acknowledging and that "not now, now I am safe", it does help.

That you for your courageousness. I'll remember that when I go for my first time at the age of 29 in early December. It sounds traumatizing, especially with my SA past. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you everyone. *hugs*
And good look Meow! Don't worry or even think about it! Just let the day come and pass. That's the one way I could not chicken out.