[MotownJohnny]

I was approached in the parking lot of a McDonald's in Royal Oak, MI this morning by an older man who said he was a homeless vet. He looked pretty clean, not too shabby, and he had a semi-decent bicycle and pack. And the look of someone who has a substance abuse problem, or has had, alcohol - I have known enough alcoholics to recognize "the look". No expert, of course, but I suspect that was an issue at some point.

So, he asked me if I could spare enough money so he could buy a small coffee - a whopping buck if I'm not mistaken. I never carry cash cash, but I told him if he came inside I'd buy him breakfast. He didn't take advantage - he ordered a small coffee and a dollar menu sandwhich. (I got my customary diet coke to go). Said thank you and went over into a corner booth to eat.

Boy was that triggering - I was so wrapped up in the "that is what happens to crazy guys" thing 2 years ago, it hit home and gave me a bit of anxiety to say the least. Luckily, I was only doing a brief pit stop between weight watcher's weigh in and the cardiologist, so I couldn't dwell on it.

Was he really homeless? Dunno - there are a lot of shelters in that area, he certainly could be staying there at night, and I know they would provide clothes and a way to clean up. Homless guy with a bike - well, I guess that could be, too. Was he just a scammer - well, if he was, I gotta say, asking for enough money for a small coffee is pretty trivial, I can't see a scammer doing that.

You see, there is a nasty side to me that wants to disavow the humanity of people like that and villanize them - because it's a way of saying "Oh, hell no, that ain't ever gonna be me." It's a form of denial I guess. And a form of working through my issues. Honestly, when I see certain overweight people I feel the same way - like that was me once, and never again.

So, guess what I did? - I filled up my diet coke glass, then got back in the line and bought him a $25 gift card. Gave it to him, told him thank you for your service to our country and I hoped things turned around for him and have a good Christmas. I think it was just the right thing to do, even if he is a scammer, which I don't think, I can feel good about my humanity. I appealed to my better nature. And I told some of my old demons to go **** off.

BTW, fountain Diet Coke is truly vile - still has saccharin and tastes like bitter stump water. Too bad I am so addicted.

[Parley]

That is so cool~ If I were a homeless veteran, I believe I'd want to keep it moving as well. I'd sleep next to a train track before I went to a shelter.

I honestly don't know what I would have done. I might have bought him a breakfast and maybe topped it off with a bottle of water but I wouldn't have bought him a card. Trusting in your fellow man is a great quality to have and one that I lack. I think my doubt would have won that debate. Good for you!

[ArthurDent]

then got back in the line and bought him a $25 gift card.

I think this was a very cool thing to do. Honored to meet you, MJ. I don''t care what his circumstances were. Good for you.

[JadeAmethyst]

Lots of people I know....have been judgemental about people in general, maybe it's human nature, maybe it's the media, idk.

For me it has been an act of compassion to acknowledge people, regular average beings..
There is a new way of soliciting here in our city. Well dressed and clean and very approachable men and women come and ask for "gas money" the story goes they have lost their money or wallet was stolen.....can I spare anything a few bucks etc...

It's always choice or option to help and assist anyone.
It's wisdom that wins out...always.

Thanks for sharing and making time for someone in need.

Jade

[Werewoman]

I think what you did was awesome when you bought him the gift card. I live in a rather small town, and there are many homeless vets that hang around the library downtown and other places I frequent. Usually they ask to bum a cigarette, and I'll give them whatever pack I have in my pocket because I remember a time when I barely had enough money for food, much less cigarettes.

I can't look at them and not see a part of myself. I have had so many times in the past, when my suffering was much more than it is now (though I wish I could say I'll never have a day that bad again, I know I probably will at sometime or other) and it was all I could do not to just run away from the whole world, even the people I loved...to just give in to the pain and the shame and the guilt for having survived when others didn't. I can't look at them and not know how close I have come to being one of them, and there are no guarantees it won't happen someday....

I never give money to them, but I remember when my son was in the CVICU at the children's hospital, and outside there was a man with no legs in a wheelchair who was the right age to have survived Vietnam, and having grown up watching what happened to those guys and the awful way they were treated when they came back....well, I asked him if he was hungry, and he said yes, so I asked him if he would like a sandwich from the cafeteria at the hospital, and he said please, and then I asked him what he would like to drink and bought the food for him. I figured if he gave his legs for me, the least I could do was give him a sandwich.

On another note though, you DO have to be careful. There are many people pretending to be vets who are just drug addicts, especially those who stand on street corners holding signs. I once knew a former meth head who admitted she did that to get money to buy drugs, and she said she sometimes made several hundred dollars in a day!

[splitimage]

MowtownJohnny,

I think what you did was really decent. I probably would have bought the guy breakfast , not sure i would have given him the gift card, but if he really was a homeless Vet, I'll bet he really appreciated it.

The only people on the street I give money to are those selling a newspaper that's published by the homeless. It costs a buck, and the vendors keep 60 cents. I usually give them a couple of bucks, because they're at least making an effort.

I've been close to being homeless myself, spent 14 months in a long term shelter, so I have a lot of empathy.

splitimage