[puzzclar]

Had two more flashbacks and they have been in my mind ever since. I was able to pull myself out, the only thing is one triggered an attempt. I feel like I down played it with my t. I had to use an app called "Calm" to calm down, and get out of the past. It did work but I was afraid that he would recommend psych-hospital. I was kind of dancing around how I felt, but I was anxious and had my imagination get the best of me. I thought I would have an anxiety attack in his office. I know I would be safe but how would he handle that situation... I was working hard to stay right there and not in that imagined scene. I was also afraid that he would ask if I felt safe. Honestly, I don't feel safe, and I am scared of another flashback where I actually attempt suicide. What if I don't ground myself fast enough, and something happens.... what then???

Oh and to top it all off I have 3 finals to take in the next three days, and at this point I kind of want to cheat a bit to just pass the dang test to just graduate and be done for a bit and work on me... then maybe I can help others after I get though this crap.

[Open Eyes]

But you got through it and did calm down. I know they are so scary, but always remember, they come in like a wave and "always" receed so you have to be patient with them. Acknowledge them and remind yourself, "then not now" consciously because that really reduces the strength of them.

I know, they are scary and unless someone has experienced one first hand they don't understand how scary they can be. But, remember, "not now" and "it does go away" too. The more you acknowledge them and talk them out the weaker they will get too.

((Caring Comforting Hugs))
OE

[JaneC]

They are scary, I'm glad you got through it. And also, good luck for your finals!

Take care

[Bluegrey]

I'm glad you were able to come out of the flashback eventually, ((Puzzclar)). I can understand that you are worried you might get too far in. Can you try and talk about it with your T? Now that you both can see that you did manage to cope, it might feel different, perhaps.

Even if you don't feel safe, your mind can still know on one level that you are safe. I try to focus on that bit when things get really difficult, I know it isn't easy though.


Bluegrey