[pmbm]

I have been hypervigilant my whole life. Tonight, where I live, it is very windy, much like my childhood home was on a regular basis. I think that the wind is making me hypervigilant as I have the wind and abuse mixed up together in my mind. I've been trying to make myself go to bed for a few hours, yet I keep thinking up reasons to still be up. I have a very difficult time sleeping and I think one of the reasons is that I always was listening to see if somebody was coming.

[Open Eyes]

I am sorry the wind is triggering you, people who don't understand PTSD don't realize how any reminder can turn into such a challenge that is not just a conscious decision to remember and then struggle with feeling like one is running a marathon. I struggle with that a lot myself so I understand exactly what you are discribing. I experience that pretty much every day when I go out to take care of my ponies and horses, I get so I am in so much pain that I take a lot of breaks, come into the house and sit at the computer and come to PC and read until I calm down so I can go back out and do more.
I have not taught lessons in years because whenever I go into the riding ring, without even thinking about it my body begins to pump cortisol and then I am in a lot of pain.
Honestly, I don't know "how" to fix that challenge, it's not like I decide to have that take place, it just comes over me.

For myself, the only way I can sleep is to have the TV on so I am not listening for noises outside unknowingly as that is what I had done for several months while I basically had to address so many injured ponies/horses and needed to listen at night in case any of them struggled and needed me. That is what I had to do when my neighbor's dog caused so much damage to pretty much every horse/pony I owned.

The TV drowns out the silence where I was listening and barely sleeping for so many months. It has helped me be able to sleep. I don't know if that would drown out the wind so you did not hear it as that is a hard noise to cover up if the wind is really strong.

((Understanding Hugs)))
OE

[pmbm]

Yes. I usually listen to music with ear buds. But, last night, I could not even get myself to bed. My body was just tensed and ready for running away. Ugh.

[Open Eyes]

Yes, I believe you, I have had those bad nights too. Sometimes that is not just about avoiding a noise or reminder, but experiencing a flashback of somekind that brings on a cycle that you have to be patient with until it finally passes. Sometimes after it runs it's course the reason for it is understood, other times that reason doesn't present itself, I hate those times tbh. I prefer it to be something I figure out because at least I can work on it consciously and acknowledge it and remind myself that yes I know, but that is not "now" and that helps to weaken it. When I don't get that, I tend to have these challenges until whatever it is connected to finally reveals itself to me. I have sure had to learn to be patient with this challenge, it's so hard to explain it to others unless it is someone who experiences the challenge themselves.

[AlilBirdie]

I've used different mindfulness exercises to cope with my own hyper-vigilance. The one I like to use the most is "body surfing" or urge surfing. I ride the uncomfortable feelings I have and stay aware of the present at the same time instead of disassociating. After I use that I use the stream exercise. Where things drift by and I put my concerns/worries on whatever passes until I reach a managable level of fear.

I hope this helps. I have had Panic attacks since July last yr so extreme that I went to the ER or wanted to at least 3-5 times a day and this helps me during a 20 on a 1-10 scale Panic. Good luck finding whatver works for you.

[pmbm]

I do this thing where I put things in a rowboat in a locked box and I let the rowboat out on the longest rope in the world into the ocean. So I can get the stuff back if I need it, but it's far away from me otherwise. Some nights, though, like last night, things are blown back to shore. So I spend lots of time sending this boat out to sea again and again. It's the best method for me, but sometimes it is a lot of work.

[skeksi]

That's a really cool image!

It has been windy where I am, too, and it's had me on high alert. It's tiring.