[catlover1]

Before being diagnosed with PTSD, my husband used to tell me I "must" be bipolar because some days were better than others. I don't have the highs and lows. I'm always low anymore, just once in a while, sometimes I have a day or a few where I feel lower than other days. Today is one of those days. One of those days when the flashbacks seem to be more intense, and more of the in quantity. The panic attacks are more intense and longer lasting that usual. And I'm just really down today and can't seem to pick myself up even slightly. So, all this leaves me to wonder, do you have days like that? Are there days when you feel you just can't get up and moving at all, yet most days, with effort, you can get yourself to at least accomplish something? Do you have days when the symptoms of the PTSD is more prevalent than other days? Or is it just me like that? Last week, I was down, low, but it was an almost tolerable low, almost to where I was functioning as I "should" but yesterday and today... ugh... I was fumbling and dropping things at work last night, was caught spacing off twice. Last week, I spaced off once the entire week. now, in two days time, I've zoned out several times already. Just curious if this is common for others too?

[lightcatcher]

Hi catlover, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I'm familiar with all you mentioned, some days are better and worse than others. I've been in a sad/numb/ lost place for the last couple of weeks. Often I can not pin point why, and maybe there is no point in asking why.
I put a lot of shoulds on myself, I should be feeling this or that, I should be able to get up and go to work. Doesn't make it better though.
I think it's about just moving through it all.
Are you seeing a therapist at all?
Sorry I have nothing to really make a difference except that yes, I do understand how you are feeling and you are not alone in that

[catlover1]

Thank you so much, lightcatcher. Really, reading that does help, a lot.

I am, sort of. It's still in the beginning stages of trying to get appts, etc. I go to a group (which I hate doing) once/week. I am going to a non profit clinic, and the group is a requirement. I wasn't supposed to be able to get any appts for months yet, but the therapist leading the group feels I can't wait, so she's trying to set everything up. She's setting up appts with her and phone contact with another therapist, as well as a psychiatrist that works another location to come in because she feels I need meds soon. I go to the group again tomorrow. However, I was supposed to have received calls from the other therapist and the psychiatrist by now, and I haven't. I'll talk to her about that tomorrow. After group tomorrow, she wants me to try guided imagery for the anxiety and panic. At this point, I'm willing to try almost anything.

I sure hope you have some better days coming soon! And, please don't be sorry, your response helps more than I can tell you.

[Open Eyes]

I had a lot of these challenges myself. Be very patient with yourself and just take it one day at a time. PTSD tends to get worse before it begins to improve. I don't really know "why" that is, but I think it is a bit easier if you do your best not to feed into it.

[catlover1]

Thank you very much, Open Eyes! Sometimes it just helps a little to know you're not the only one. It feels that way at times. Especially days like today. Now it's off to work I go... sigh I'm really not up to this tonight, but I must go...