[Catlady360]

So, I'm going to be asking my psychiatrist about whether or not I have ptsd from bullying that happened during my childhood. The term has been mentioned before by at least two of my medication providers and I'd like to get a firm answer.

See, when I was about 11-12 years old, I had two separate incidences that may have caused ptsd. One time I was shoved down the stairs at school. I caught the railing but I remember feeling paralyzing fear at the time. Even now I'm always cautious to have a hand on the handrail. But the event that really causes me pause was when I was thrown across a cabin at an overnight camp. Literally thrown by a girl my age across a cabin. I remember being stunned a the time and the seconds before I was thrown. The rest is very blurry to me, but I still feel a lot of fear.

I feel fear when someone I can't see touches or grabs my back or neck area. A couple years ago after a hip surgery, a nursing aide who was in my home was behind me, but I had forgotten about her. What happened next well, she said later on she had said something to me about asking to adjust the top of my skirt.. But I didn't hear her, and when she started fiddling with my skirt, I slapped her hand away and shrieked out "Don't touch me!".

So yeah, exaggerated startle response, I don't particularly like people touching me, and stuff, due to what happened when I was young. I'm 31 now and even now I fear thinking about things like that.

[Quarter life]

Hi Catlady.

Certainly sounds like you tend to be hypervigilant...this may or may not be the result of these traumatising childhood events. I worked with my psychiatrist over several years to compartmentalise such traumas....so as to be able to function in everyday situations. It takes a lot of work, but is doable. It is important to address these unwelcome reactions...otherwise we miss out on so much in life.