goal of emdr session

I just started emdr with a new t. We did the first session yesterday. She kept stopping to ask what i noticed. I'm not sure i did it right. Is their goal with it that you notice nothing. I dont understand how they know its been processed. I want to do this right but worried I'm already messing it up.

Hi , I've had EMDR. Try not to worry about doing it " wrong " , it's whatever comes up. People will connect and process things differently. Please feel free to PM , I'm always happy to support people having EMDR.

It sounds like you and your therapist didn't do the preparation phase work! You should not be working on processing memories until you have a firm basis in grounding resources. I strongly suggest you talk with your T about the following, the parts of "doing EMDR" that make up the REAL EMDR therapy protocol...

One of the initial EMDR therapy phases (Phase 2) involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often what is referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase method of psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff, as well as creating strategies if you're triggered in everyday life. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need.

In phase 2 you learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional, too intense. One of the key assets of EMDR therapy is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you weren’t in the past, during traumatic events, or whatever disturbance(s) on which you’re working. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or any method of bilateral stimulation that feels okay to you) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and say just a bit of what you’re noticing, anything different, any changes. (The stimulation should not be kept on continuously, because there are specific procedures that need to be followed to process the memory). The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR therapy techniques that help make it the gentlest and safest way to detoxify bad life experiences and build resources.

Grounding exercises are essential. You can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). The book is an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also gives lots of really helpful ways that are used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

Pacing and dosing are critically important. So if you ever feel that EMDR processing is too intense then it might be time to go back over all the resources that should be used both IN session and BETWEEN sessions.

As a recently retired psychologist, I used EMDR therapy as my primary psychotherapy treatment and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client, EMDR worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my (now retired) role as a facilitator who trained other therapists in EMDR therapy (certified by the EMDR International Association and trained by the EMDR Institute, both of which I strongly recommend in an EMDR therapist) I have used EMDR therapy successfully with panic disorders, PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams, and many other problems. It's a very gentle method with no significant "down-side" so that in the hands of a professional EMDR therapist, there should be no freak-outs or worsening of day-to-day functioning.

RUN.

It can take MONTHS of prep work before starting EMDR. Therapists don't tell you that EMDR done wrong can indeed cause more damage. (There is info about this around the Internet.)

This therapist didn't even take the time to assess if you're ready/stable enough for EMDR. This screams of incompetency.

Please find a new therapist. This one doesn't give a darn about your well being. She doesn't deserve to be liscensed if she is going to willfully put patients in harms way.

Processing involves talking about the trauma, all of the feelings involved, and being able to put it in the past.

I'd be shocked if you were able to put your trauma behind you in one session.

Again, this doesn't sound like a good therapist.

She isn't even explaining the therapeutic process to you.

What would be the minimum number of sessions needed to prepare. She did four. Maybe i didn't say enough. The emdr right now is for stopping the cutting. Then she is going to do the trauma . Does that sound better.

The preparation work is important - I probably had about four sessions of prep work , it doesn't take months to do.

Can you ground yourself, self-soothe, and so on? Do you have a lot of coping skills that you can use to keep yourself safe?

I don't want to jump to conclusions but if you're in EMDR for cutting this tells me that you don't have good coping skills (otherwise you wouldn't be cutting). I have been in a lot of treatment programs and a lot of therapy. I don't think a strong foundation of coping skills can happen in 4 sessions (or the equivalent amount of time, 4 hours-ish).

That's what scares me. if it will go wrong and be worse off.

My T never tried to process if I was unstable - trauma work cannot be rushed. There are some stories about EMDR going wrong , the sessions are yours to work on more grounding , self soothing and safe place if you don't feel up to processing.