[MelloJoy]

When I saw my T yesterday we talked about how far I've come since last April. Mostly because of time with her and CBT. But there is a few things I can't shake. For this conversation it's about my child abuse. When I was younger ( 44 now ) I thought there must be something about the way I look for this to happen to me by so many people. I still have a core belief of that and can't handle people, especially men, looking at me for very long. I feel like they know. They can see what I feel and then here come the flashbacks. My anxiety gets very high and I have to hurry away. I have been able to control this a few times but for the most part it's gut wrenching. I almost always have to take meds to calm my self down. I think I just neede to get this off of my chest because I was feeling very good this morning and then these thoughts started. Thank you for reading.

[sub-dural]

Sometimes such insight is frightening. Figuring out a trigger for anxiety is one thing, but looking at it in a deeper context can bring back something much more frightening than the experience of anxiety. That heart-drop with the "oh *****.. Something awful happened to me."

I'm not sure if this is exactly what you are experiencing, but that's what your post made me think of.

[MelloJoy]

That's exactly what's it's like.