Talking to my ex

I actually was abused by 2 exes and I still talk to both of them. One, because he is the father of my children, and he hasn't, as far as I can tell, mistreated them, so I feel he should be a part of their lives. The other, because he's working hard to reform himself since getting out of prison, and he admitted to everything he did and apologized.
I have very mixed feelings, because seeing both of them triggers me a bit, but I also have good conversations with both of them sometimes. I kind of hate them, but want to be friends, but can't look at them. It's a weird dynamic, and I'm not sure if it's healthy.

You forgive them so you can heal and move forward. you communicate so there is healing there for the children. That is all good. And yet you have boundaries which is also good. One day at a time yet still moving forward a little at a time. tc (((hugs)))

it sounds like you are handling it well - although if you have hatred for one or both is it constructive for you to communicate with them? the first one you have a child with so thee will be contact but you can limit that

the second one - don't know .....as long as you are setting bouindaries and taking care of yourself - and don't fall into the same trap as before

just be safe ok

P7

I've had it brought up before that it's probably not healthy or constructive to be talking with the guy I have no kids with. I do have pretty hard line boundaries with both of them, and I definitely won't fall into the same trap as before. I mostly talk to the one I don't have kids with because he has a kid he needs to get custody of, and I've been helping him. He put me in a position where I felt I had to, however, because he moved here knowing I was the only person he knew, and then told his therapist (he's on probation, and therapy is one of the conditions) that I was his support system. I didn't really appreciate it, but I am rather attached to his daughter. I helped raise her. IDK if I'll keep talking to either of them in 8 or so years when all the kids are grown. Probably not, I think. But I do have a problem making sure my needs come anywhere on the list of things that are important, so it's a fair question. I guess the short answer is, I don't know.