[Xlosersclub]

Hello,

This is my first time posting or talking about my abuse with unbiased peers.

Long story short: I am a N-Magnet and co-dependent person. I fell head over heels for man who had textbook NPD which started to show after a few months of living together. I was successful, beautiful, and smarter than him which triggered his evil side. I've always been able to put on a happy face and get things done, despite my own bipolar disorder. He used anything and everything against me, emotionally and physically.

One day after I picked him up at work, and I disrupted whatever conversation he was texting away with one of his many "narcissistic supplies" by trying to talk about our issues. Out of nowhere, he grabbed my face and eyes while I was driving on the highway.. I pulled over(somehow) and he continued to brutalize me.

While still under the hypnosis of his narsassistic ways, I let him back in the car and ran every light trying to find a police car. I had to stop and he got out. I went to the police station, but decided to hold off and think about it before pressing charges. Well, 2 days later I went to the police and pressed charges. They held him in county jail for nearly 5 months. After the first 3 months I paid for phone calls and exchanged hundreds of letters, him professing his love and need for me on the "outside"

Magically his bail was dismissed And his case will be heard in municipal court, because when I wrote my statement I begged for mental health treatment. Upon his release, he immediately broke the no contact order and proceeded to verbally abuse me on facebook messenger. I reached out to any of his potential new victims I could find

He hasn't given me a single call or text, like I never existed, though I did hear he sent out some revenge porn. How did he even get a phone without a penny to his name? I went so far as to even text him a suicide note and told him I was in the hospital on my birthday (ok I lied to test if ANY of his letters were sincere). Radio silence.

I cannot stop wondering if he will even get the notice to show up in court, or if he'll even show up if he doesn't skip town (or hasn't already).

Going on 6 months since I had him taken away - his birthday actually (4/18) will Ben 6 months to the day...

The mental torture has left me feeling emptying inside. I hate myself, I have rage issues, depression (mixed episodes), suicidal idealations, agoraphobia, anti social, no interest in dating or sex. I can't work. I can't function, especially "knowing" he is probably already living off his next victim. I've applied for disability.

THIS video below is exactly what I needed. It outlines 50 symptoms of a new (not yet in DSM) Complex form of PTSD called "Narsassistic Abuse Syndrome."

(Can't post link due to lack of posts but look it up on youtube)

Despite the frequency and severity of physical harm I survived, I have not been able to find stories From anyone else that was lethally attacked or especially anyone who had their psychopathic partner arrested rather than fleeing. I honestly felt that if I didn't get him taken away, he would have killed me in in my sleep within a week, because he couldn't take the pressure of being caught cheating.

I made this video to tell my story and soothe my soul:
(Can't post link due to lack of posts but look up my channel "Curvy And Curious" on youtube)

Thank you for letting me share
-Emmi

[Open Eyes]

You did not really know this individual was going to abuse you, not your fault. You did the right thing by reporting the abuse. It is understandable that you have been deeply affected by the extreme behavior this individual expressed to you. Often the result can be that of self blaming, thinking there must be something wrong with you in that you experienced this and did not see the red flags. However, these individuals can be incredibly attractive and charismatic and even pulling others in that begin to think they are special to this kind of individual not realizing they are only a new object of "posession". You attracted this kind of individual because you had something the individual wanted in that you are attractive, outgoing and had a good job. You had a shine about you that stood out to him like that pebble on the beach that stood out from others. That is not something "wrong" with you it was right enough to attract.

The way you were treated had nothing to do with you, it was because this individual is too insecure inside to understand how to be more to you other than needing you to "service" his needs. A lot of these individuals were not loved and appreciated and nurtured in their childhoods, so they develop their own ways of trying to fill this void that are hard on others. Some of these individuals were even traumatized when they were children and developed this excess narcissism as a defense mechanism. The anger that you experienced is always a red flag as these individuals "need" to feel they have the "control" and get angry when that is threatened and they prefer to have others "weaker" then them as that gives them a sense of "empowerment".

It is normal that after experiencing this kind of toxic relationship that one is left stunned and confused and hurt. It is even normal that an individual can be so hurt that they pull back from doing anything that can become something that can make them a target once again. There are many that need therapy to help them slowly grieve this bad experience and regain their personal sense of safety and slowly gain their own ego back and "self trust".

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Xlosersclub

Hello,

This is my first time posting or talking about my abuse with unbiased peers.

Long story short: I am a N-Magnet and co-dependent person. I fell head over heels for man who had textbook NPD which started to show after a few months of living together. I was successful, beautiful, and smarter than him which triggered his evil side. I've always been able to put on a happy face and get things done, despite my own bipolar disorder. He used anything and everything against me, emotionally and physically.

One day after I picked him up at work, and I disrupted whatever conversation he was texting away with one of his many "narcissistic supplies" by trying to talk about our issues. Out of nowhere, he grabbed my face and eyes while I was driving on the highway.. I pulled over(somehow) and he continued to brutalize me.

While still under the hypnosis of his narsassistic ways, I let him back in the car and ran every light trying to find a police car. I had to stop and he got out. I went to the police station, but decided to hold off and think about it before pressing charges. Well, 2 days later I went to the police and pressed charges. They held him in county jail for nearly 5 months. After the first 3 months I paid for phone calls and exchanged hundreds of letters, him professing his love and need for me on the "outside"

Magically his bail was dismissed And his case will be heard in municipal court, because when I wrote my statement I begged for mental health treatment. Upon his release, he immediately broke the no contact order and proceeded to verbally abuse me on facebook messenger. I reached out to any of his potential new victims I could find

He hasn't given me a single call or text, like I never existed, though I did hear he sent out some revenge porn. How did he even get a phone without a penny to his name? I went so far as to even text him a suicide note and told him I was in the hospital on my birthday (ok I lied to test if ANY of his letters were sincere). Radio silence.

I cannot stop wondering if he will even get the notice to show up in court, or if he'll even show up if he doesn't skip town (or hasn't already).

Going on 6 months since I had him taken away - his birthday actually (4/18) will Ben 6 months to the day...

The mental torture has left me feeling emptying inside. I hate myself, I have rage issues, depression (mixed episodes), suicidal idealations, agoraphobia, anti social, no interest in dating or sex. I can't work. I can't function, especially "knowing" he is probably already living off his next victim. I've applied for disability.

THIS video below is exactly what I needed. It outlines 50 symptoms of a new (not yet in DSM) Complex form of PTSD called "Narsassistic Abuse Syndrome."

(Can't post link due to lack of posts but look it up on youtube)

Despite the frequency and severity of physical harm I survived, I have not been able to find stories From anyone else that was lethally attacked or especially anyone who had their psychopathic partner arrested rather than fleeing. I honestly felt that if I didn't get him taken away, he would have killed me in in my sleep within a week, because he couldn't take the pressure of being caught cheating.

I made this video to tell my story and soothe my soul:
(Can't post link due to lack of posts but look up my channel "Curvy And Curious" on youtube)

Thank you for letting me share
-Emmi

just a heads up anyone with Narsassistic Abuse Syndrome here in america this is treated by the main label of PTSD.

short version The label PTSD covers any kind of trauma from any kind of physical emotional or sexual abuse or natural disaster. it doest matter if the abuser has a personality disorder like narcissistic personality disorder or any other normal physical or mental problems. its all together in one diagnosis label now. Here in america we dont separate abuse by mental disorder that the abuser may have because in general all abuse regardless of what mental disorder the perpetrator has causes the same symptoms and problems.

outside the USA they may recognize \separate abuse by mental disordered perpetrators according to what mental disorder the perpetrator has, but here in the USA we do not do that.

my opinion is we probably wont ever separate types of abuse according to what mental disorder the criminal doing the abuse has. if we did that then we would be in danger of discrimination example one of my abusers was black so on comes the label of black abuse disorder, or another one of my abusers were schizophrenic canandian so on comes a mental disorder called schizophrenic canandian disorder. or how about white bipolar abuse syndrom... see what I mean ... here in america we have laws to cut down on discrimination and stigma. so in my opinion I dont see the American Psychiatric Association making a diagnostic label and mental disorder for the DSM that goes against our discrimination laws.

[Sevensong]

Hi, Emmi. I hope you're doing a bit better now. And kudos to you for actually having the creep arrested! I hope that helps future targets, if they learn he has a record and history. I know I would never associate with and would cut off ties if I learned about something like that.

I can definitely see why abuse by a narcissist/psychopath should have a different label. Research has shown that deliberate abuse, or harm caused through human evil, has far different and worse impact on people than suffering through natural disaster or even "ordinary" physical childhood abuse. So I strongly agree with the "C-PTSD" type/label. This would also help survivors receive better support and validation, because they will have unique issues based on how the narcissist/psychopath messed with their mind. I hope the US adopts this soon, or at least someday! That would be a big step forward for a lot of survivors!

I don't think you're an N-magnet, and I really hope you won't be afraid to be yourself again out of fear for these bastards. I think after experience and self-education, you'll be far more perceptive, and will be better able to "weed out" these bad apples before they can become a part of your life again. If educating yourself more helps, by all means do that. But I would urge you not to shut yourself off out of fear, not least of all because that will let this creep affect you far beyond you bravely kicking him out of your life. I hope he stays out, and that the next target is as strong! I hope you can take whatever steps you need to get your life back on track, and not let him suck all the good out of your life.