[confusedbyself]

Ok, guys. Been a long while since I been around (just when I think life is so crazy it can only get better, it proves me wrong with more chaos). In the mix of increased stress and working therapeutically on my ptsd, I have noticed something new and hoping it is part of her ptsd and not something more scary.

I noticed that I have started to occasionally thinking about something horrible happening and then being able to get the thoughts and images out of my mind and even starting to feel the anxiety. For example: I have a 2 month old tiny chi puppy and today I was going to ride an old riding lawn mower to the back yard and had her in my hands. I immediately thought about the possibility of dropping her while on it and her getting killed. The thought goes with my hypervigillant, I know...... BUT,,, , hours later I kept getting flashes of the thought and even graphic specifics and anxiety.

I understand flashbacks from my past, but do any of you have this with something that hasn't really occurred? (I have always had continually fear of things, but not like this)

Thanks for any insight

[LittleLeah]

The term for this is intrusive thoughts. I often have those about my own death. Some I've become numb to, like car crashes for example. Others can be super shocking. I can't think of any of those currently because it's usually a new scenario that my mind hasn't considered. My understanding is that the brain creates and plays out these scenes in a way to prepare itself in the case that it happens. Sometimes the intrusive thoughts are random. Those of us with PTSD are far more prone to intrusive thoughts because of hypervigilence. Our bodies and our brains know first hand that bad things can and do happen. This is our brains way of preparing for any scenario that may happen to us.

[OneDay89]

I too think of my own death in various situations quite frequently. Keeps me awake at night. The best way I have found to break my mind out of that loop is to distract myself with something that is complex so it requires more concentration. Puzzles, games, books (depending on the book) talking to people about something in-depth (not the weather). Those are all things that I have found to be helpful but not all the time, sometimes I just have to get too tired to keep thinking anymore.

[sriracha]

I was wondering does this also happen to you with media images by any chance? That's a trigger for it for me, but imagination alone is powerful too. I think the brain just forms these pathways that default to something horrible happening, and all the vivid images, sounds, etc. that go with it which I'm sure become more acute after PTSD, like having a "flash-forward," even if the thing is unlikely or impossible. But yeah, I def think your experience is related to it, and you're not crazy. I know rationalizing doesn't always help, but maybe you can make a mental list of all the reasons why those things will not happen, and then find something like OneDay89 said that requires full brain power to get your mind off the graphic stuff.