Who I was

Tonight was a very hard night. I had to face the fact that I would never be able to be the person I was before my traumatic experience. I loved who I used to be and in a way, I wanted to go back to the way I was before more then anything. After the incident, I felt like I lost my identity basically. Things I liked, I don't anymore and feelings I had, I don't feel. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm hoping that one day I can accept this person I've become and be able to let go of who I was, though it's the hardest thing in the world. I feel like the best part of me was taken and I took it for granted.

Hello S.Courage: The Skeezyks sends hugs with the hope that, in some way, you will be able to find acceptance of the person you have become & let go of who you were. Perhaps, at some point, it might even be possible for you to integrate the person you were with the person you have become, thus creating a synthesis of the two that is stronger than either could have ever been alone. That, it seems to me, would be a triumph of the heart. May it come to pass...

That is difficult to deal with I know. I'm no longer the person I was , but I think we change throughout our lives with or without trauma , and we grow to accept the way things are and who we are now , but it's like grief and we have to mourn.

You're still the same person. The only thing that's changed is your perspective.

There is no going back... I tried & tried. There is only fwd and becoming a new person. Maybe in someways better human being. Stronger & wiser

And maybe if we are lucky more empathetic and companionate if we are able to connect to that.

I'm very much in the same boat of thought at the moment. I too am struggling with missing my old self, and adjusting to the fit of my new... or perhaps this is just 'transition me'.
I'm stronger for surving this far.
I'm more experienced.
I'm more educated to prevent it happening again.

But with it comes heaps of bad too. Where I was once was open, trusting and friendly, I now lack trust, am cynical, bitter and angry.. so angry.

I don't like these horrible parts now squished into my world. This realization has caused me to start finding help this week. I might not be able to process myself, though Inhave given it a fighting chance, with pro help I hope to make a better new me, one that better fits my old.

I just want to be able to read and enjoy a good book again. I haven't read in almost three years.. To thoroughly loose myself in a book without mental holdups is my basic starting goal.

Best of luck on where you stand, know you aren't standing there alone.