[venusss]

Well, my ideology is pretty solid, but I swing greatly between "this is worth it, everything is going to be okay" and "we all are going to die".

Could this be a result of trauma? Or just my personality? And how to cope with that?

[Open Eyes]

From what I have read venusss early trauma can affect one's sensitivity level and one's personality as well. Now, that doesn't have to mean something negative. There are studies being done all the time to learn how early childhood trauma, or trauma in general affects the brain. It has recently been a question if trauma can also lead to an individual developing the symptoms of bipolar.

I recently read about a study that was done to see how the brain reacts to stress. What they learned is our brain does better when we "know" when something hurtful is going to take place, whereas when a person is told they will receive a shock at any time their brain shows a higher degree of stess.

That would make sense because people prefer to develop a structure in their lives where they can "predict" challenges and that is really part of everything we design/create be it an ideology, religion, language, time tables, weather predictions and all the written human scenarios that human beings have experienced throughout our human history.

I think reality can make you have an unstable view of the world.

[venusss]

From what I have read venusss early trauma can affect one's sensitivity level and one's personality as well. Now, that doesn't have to mean something negative. There are studies being done all the time to learn how early childhood trauma, or trauma in general affects the brain. It has recently been a question if trauma can also lead to an individual developing the symptoms of bipolar.

well, I got BP diagnosis and quite strong symptoms at one point... but it seems to not be big issue lately. (though it might be just good coping... I have no idea honestly. I have been having symptoms that could be both of these lately).

I recently read about a study that was done to see how the brain reacts to stress. What they learned is our brain does better when we "know" when something hurtful is going to take place, whereas when a person is told they will receive a shock at any time their brain shows a higher degree of stess.

so I am unconsciously preparing myself to all sorts of awfulness?

I think reality can make you have an unstable view of the world.

But why then do some manage to be strong and brave? I need to know

[Open Eyes]

so I am unconsciously preparing myself to all sorts of awfulness?

The reason I mentioned what was learned about the brain and stress is what it means is that when human beings can "predict", in this case a shock, the brain shows much less stress.

Now think about what this means. A woman will stay in a toxic relationship, why? The reason for that is that the woman got to a level where even though the realtionship is toxic, she learned how to predict when she would be challenged, so in that she learned how to manage whatever was toxic. Now, when someone like you sees what is wrong and goes out to try to encourage others to stand up and fight back, you will find that a lot of people will agree about what may be toxic but they don't stand up or make the effort to change whatever is wrong. The reason for that lies deep in how they would rather live with "predicting" then live with the "unknown".

What was learned here in America is that when messing with a society and "changing" a regime, that can create a huge mess which is what the US created not only in attacking Iraq, but also when Kadafi was brought down. When you take away a "predictable" in a society the society is now thrown into an "unknown" and it will take at least one generation, maybe two to gain a new way of developing a society where that society gains on their sense of "predictability".

Actually this is something that Mandela understood and because of that he was more of a peacemaker. Mandella understood that in order to make gains on "getting along" it's better to find a way to connect with other world leaders and include them where they feel "heard and respected", he worked through gradual encouragement rather then putting these other world leaders on the defensive.

When it comes to participating in a movement and building awareness, it's important to recognize the years it will take before that movement really sees an actual "change".

I will give you an example from my own effort to inform and bring "change". I discovered the "hard" way that a poisenous plant can be in hay. I discovered this the hard way because I had to address horses/ponies that got sick and one ended up dying.
I am one who has to get to the bottom of the "why" and I did figure it out and then I began to find out how this plant could be found in hay more than I realized. And the problem with this plant is that as it dries and breaks apart, it gets more toxic. Depending on how much a horse or pony happens to take in, it can give them diareah, or stop their digestive track and even affect them neurologically. Oh, I sure learned everthing I could about it.

What I also learned is that a lot of hay farmers just don't "care" and as long as they just cut the hay and get it sold, that is pretty much all they care about. Even if I told them and gave them information on it, they did not want to care, after all people were still buying their hay. So what I had to do is make copies of the information and made it a point to talk to horse owners and warn them. It took about ten years for enough people to connect the dots to that plant and stop buying hay from these farmers for these farmers to finally make it a point to treat their fields to get rid of this plant. One farmer got so he hated "me" and called me up and threatened that if I did not stop talking about this plant that he would come to my house and beat me. He did not want to "care" about the people he sold hay to, he did not want to care that these people were risking suffering a loss of their horse or precious loved child's pony and he did not want to care that when a horse/pony gets ill from this plant it is horrible painful death. Ten years venusss. What my effort took was getting enough people to look for other ways to buy their hay, demand their hay be clean hay to where these farmers had a much harder time selling their hay and also these people began to connect the dots to why their horses got sick. And a lot of people were "afraid" to complain to these farmers for fear they would have problems buying hay.

A movement gets started, but to affect true change is often very hard because of how human beings will stay in something undesirable because at least whatever it may be they are living in is "predictable".

[Open Eyes]

But why then do some manage to be strong and brave? I need to know

Well, because human nature, is "nature" and human beings are unique and some human beings are designed to be more outgoing and stronger than others. A lot of this is in our design to be in groups, desire a leader and other types of people that have qualities that add to each group. If you study herd animals, and wolf packs this is also something we have come to learn about how these animals thrive.

Originally Posted by venusss

well, I got BP diagnosis and quite strong symptoms at one point... but it seems to not be big issue lately. (though it might be just good coping... I have no idea honestly. I have been having symptoms that could be both of these lately).


so I am unconsciously preparing myself to all sorts of awfulness?


But why then do some manage to be strong and brave? I need to know

I have an unstable worldview and I'm almost 42 and was extremely strong all my life. I might appear weaker the past few years but I'm very strong. You are too. Sometimes we feel weak for a short time just because we need rest. I don't know any weak people. Take 2 kids on the playground who just got beat by there father the night before. One kid is crying and talking about how it effected him. The other kid is yelling at that kid telling him to toughen up, that he's a baby because he got beat too and you don't see him crying. I think the braver kid is the one crying and the one who needs the most help is the one who had their humanity and compassion beat out of them. To be strong, they need help recognizing what is REALLY happening to them.

You are strong Venus. (((Hugs)))