Moving on?

Hi. I have PTSD due to years of physical and mental abuse. I am in therapy and on medications but I keep reverting back to why it happened. I realize the people who did it are terrible and no reason can be given. It's just that every time I want to really try to get past it, I can't. I keep asking why this is happening. Why they did what they did and live with themselves. I keep thinking if I had been different maybe it wouldn't have happened. They keep trying to get a hold of me to get me to let them see my son. I'm afraid if I confront them and say no they'll try to get a lawyer and take me to court. I know they can't do anything unless me and my ex allow them to see him, which we agree is wrong. But I'm scared they're going to convince a court I'm an unfit mother and they'll take him from me completely. I'm getting a lot better and doing better but what if they find me? What if they win and the abuse they have caused me just gets transfered? What if they end up able to hurt me more. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think, and I'm terrified.

Hello helpandbehelped: I'm sorry you are in this most difficult situation. I don't know as there is really much I can offer with regard to this. I think it is really something you'll need to work through with the help of your therapist. It can take a long time to get past abusive experiences. To some extent, I doubt we ever get past them entirely. I wish you well...

Hi, it sounds like you still need to go through the processing part of trauma therapy. You cannot put it behind you unless you work on processing. Much of the time this involves techniques like EMDR or exposure therapy. Are you seeing a trauma therapist? Just going to therapy every week to talk about your problems doesn't help PTSD much. You really do need one of the more specific types of therapies.