[betweenarock]

So. Won't see the T till Thursday. My career takes a toll sometimes and carries heavy stress. Don't know why I chose this career but I'm good at it. Yesterday I brought to male dogs home from a house i am selling and it was traumatic for me. The older new male horribly fought my 1yrold male. It was all day violence between them. So tje meds werent working well enough. Im also investigating a case where children were eating out of a dumpster and it bought an old memory or flash back i didnt like. Im better today but shaky and tired. I hate having pdst. I didnt ask for it. I cant make it go away.
Sucky stuff.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by betweenarock

So. Won't see the T till Thursday. My career takes a toll sometimes and carries heavy stress. Don't know why I chose this career but I'm good at it. Yesterday I brought to male dogs home from a house i am selling and it was traumatic for me. The older new male horribly fought my 1yrold male. It was all day violence between them. So tje meds werent working well enough. Im also investigating a case where children were eating out of a dumpster and it bought an old memory or flash back i didnt like. Im better today but shaky and tired. I hate having pdst. I didnt ask for it. I cant make it go away.
Sucky stuff.

What are you going to do with the dogs? Sounds like they need to be in another home, or to a no kill shelter. On FB there are these groups for lost and found animals, you could post them there and see if someone would take them.
That's horrible about the kids. Just hate it when adults give birth to these little ones then abandon them, abuse them or even kill them. As hard as it is to say I'm sure death is a welcome relief for some of them.
No PTSD is going to be with you from here on out. You might want to talk to a counselor about how these cases are bothering you though.

[betweenarock]

Thank you for responding and yes we have the more dominate one on fb and not a single bite. For now we have them separated. One good thing about my career is that I can do alot from home. The next 3 days will be busy and I will have to be out of the house. I also noticed something that disturbs me. Even though I experience a startle response for things my reaction time is delayed. Like I freeze. Yes, I see the T tomorrow plus doc. Will talk about this.

[betweenarock]

[Open Eyes]

It is understandable the two situations you have described can be a trigger. The defenseless were victims in both scenarios. Something like that can trigger times in one's own history where one could have felt helpless. What can contribute to the trigger is that bad happened or may be happening even though you have some exposure but your exposure did not prevent. Much of that can trigger something from any time in one's history, especially during childhood where anything similar took place.

Often a person chooses a career that has something to do with prevention because of challenges they witnessed or experienced at a young age themselves.

[betweenarock]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

It is understandable the two situations you have described can be a trigger. The defenseless were victims in both scenarios. Something like that can trigger times in one's own history where one could have felt helpless. What can contribute to the trigger is that bad happened or may be happening even though you have some exposure but your exposure did not prevent. Much of that can trigger something from any time in one's history, especially during childhood where anything similar took place.

Often a person chooses a career that has something to do with prevention because of challenges they witnessed or experienced at a young age themselves.

Thank you. I cannot disagree with what you say. I don't like the feelings nor the frame of mind it puts me in. Just kind of suck my bottom lip in and hold gently with my teeth. Frozen in deep thought and feelings buried that I stuff back down in there grave only to come back like some horror flick. Talked to 1 of my siblings yesterday and he said digging in the trash was fun. Sure he was making me laugh and sure it might be fun but not if you're a hungry kids who's mother is only god knows where for only god knows how long. And look there. Then the anger of it all.

[betweenarock]

Yes. I saw too much violence. Not just an occasion but vicious and everyday, helpless, shocked stunned

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by betweenarock

Did you draw this? Beautiful work. Can you explain it to me a little bit? If you want to. It can just be a vague description like Me and my alters, me and the abusers etc. I wish I had that talent to draw. Consider it a gift.