[Marylin]

All the pain of years of trauma from abuse by my sister came flooding back tonight cos the narc ***** got into my house again yesterday without me knowing or my permission.She put old used grimy toothbrushes in my bathroom cabinet.It is her way of humiliating me and saying I am stupid,she did that for years and it has triggered emotional memories of abuse,I felt so very bad last night,it has eased off this morning,but I feel violated and stalked still.
I am never going to be free of her.But she had sucked me back into the old family orbit by making me exchange texts over my mother's cancer/Mum hadn't helped by having me run round after her ordering vitamins for her and taking them up to her by taxi and cooking food for her,takes the work off my sister.Now I feel used and abused by them both again.I gave her all the info I had on how to cure cancer and she does this,gets into my house and messes with my stuff,mind,emotional health again!I am not going maintain a close relationship with my mum anymore cos I am sure whatever I tell her gets passed on to my sister.

I changed my will recently with more money going to my niece if I die and I reckon ***** narc sister wants me dead again,she sees her pocket and my niece's as one and the same!

I am shocked,hurt angry,this fear of having her enter my home has to be addressed,I am going to save up for CCTV,there is nothing else I can do.I can't have her turning up and getting in.Though if I make sure I lock the patio door from the inside it isn't likely she can get in again,better have the satisfaction of having the camera record comings and goings,she could damage my property of set fire to it it out of anger and spite if she can't get in.I had no idea before two years ago she was capable of such nastiness.Yet she tried to bring about my actual physical death,she had a plan she tried to execute so she is one very violent person.I am not scared but it is traumatic and every time she does this **** to me I feel shaken and violated to the core.I can't live with the effects of the abuse every time she does something it messes with my mental health which deteriorates.

It has sent me emotionally reeling back to the time she used to play mind games and do something nasty then deny she did it and argue and argue never endingly about it denying,the accusing me of accusing her of stuff and saying I was a burden and demanding and setting me up to fail and sabotaging my attempts at independence.That is what she does.

Since I cut her out of my life she has gotten hold of every resource I use for myself.With the cancer she got all the info out of me and the details of my CBD supplier.She got the details of where I buy my vitamins and copied that and now she is getting the handyman service I use to fix the ramp for my mum at her house,she found out from them that I use them.

Deep down I am more hurt and upset than frightened,I have no doubt she still wants me dead and would do whatever she could to bring that about.I am sure though God is still looking out for me and opening my eyes to any danger from her.God has always wanted to help me escape from her and now he is showing me my mum is drawing me into the narc *****es web and I must distance myself from mum in the hope that will cut of sister's oxygen as far as I am concerned.God's love will heal me and sustain me through this trauma and bout of PTSD.This will make me stronger.I am crying now but it feels like a release.

Trauma is so very hard to live with but I am not going to let it bother me this latest attack by the narc,It is just a case of holding her at bay it will be for me until she is dead,she will always be out to destroy me her hatred of me is very strong.In God I trust.