[MtnTime2896]

My defenses go up without my permission. They're damn good at what they do and even better at convincing my mind into denial. Once the denial is up, the despair sets in. It comes from a land unknown and with little explanation.

No one can tear down these walls. No one can unhinge the door before the despair and denial take me. I am more than just their captive. I am their commander.

[Fuzzybear]

[AmandaBroken]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

My defenses go up without my permission. They're damn good at what they do and even better at convincing my mind into denial. Once the denial is up, the despair sets in. It comes from a land unknown and with little explanation.

No one can tear down these walls. No one can unhinge the door before the despair and denial take me. I am more than just their captive. I am their commander.

I understand this. It happens to me. I don't know what works for you but if I can distract myself between when my defenses go up and before the denial takes over I can beat the feelings of despair. I have also learned not to make myself a difficult distraction. Sometimes I call my sister Amy, and now I usually call Anna. Sometimes I get up and go for a walk. Sometimes I go play with the dogs. They are "technically guard dogs" but I do let them play with me. There is nothing more fun than having 12 dogs playing catch, licking you and just having fun can change those traps we have in our lives.

If you ever need to talk feel free to contact me. I will make myself available.

I offer you a gentle hug and a soft embrace. Please Be Safe!

Amanda