[wonderluster]

I have the PTSD
I had the traumatic events that changed me.

So for the last seven years I have been traveling around the USA, Europe, Africa and now I am in India.

I have had nothing but traumatic events since my major one in 2010.
I cannot believe the intense complicated drama and trauma I continue to experience. I have no clue where I will be a day from now or a week, month or year from now or in what condition I will be in.

I am sober and that is good. At least I have the sense to stay off drugs and alcohol.

So I just some how manage in this constant state of fight or flight mostly...
Sometimes I have brief interludes of calmness. but most of the time I am on this epic bewildering journey through the labyrinth of the Earth.

I live off a very modest monthly pension. I have always had a good place to stay except a brief time of running amok in a manic episode in the streets of a major US city back in 2010...right after the big trauma.

Still I come close often to starving and being homeless.

I am trying hard to settle down. Wish me luck. Today was very traumatic.
Somehow today's trauma made me realize some things.
I realized that I am indeed in a constant state of trauma.

Anyways, thanks for listening. I hope you all are ok today.

[RubyRae]

I can relate to what you said.

Are you in therapy to help deal with your traumas?

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

I can relate to what you said.

Are you in therapy to help deal with your traumas?

Thanks for the hug, RubyRae

I have had therapy on and off since I was a teenager.
I have traveled since a child and went to 8 different schools by the time I was 18. I have lived in 43 different paces for 6 months or more in my life.

My first therapy as an adult was when I was 23. I did it for 6 months before leaving that U.S. State. After I left I started a long distance relationship with that therapist where we would take turns driving to each other's place on the weekends. This turned out to be the healthiest relationship I ever had, but I stupidly broke it off with her a few months later. It was likely a manic whim.

So anyways, that episode typifies my therapy experience. Every therapist I ever had ends up being my friend. My therapy sessions are basically me entertaining them. I just happen to click too well with those types. I had many friends and relationships outside of therapy who were psychologists and psychiatrists.

My last therapy was in 2010. He was a very nice man who loved my stories and company. The last psychiatrist I saw was in 2012. Since then I have been on my own.

Did I mention I have Bipolar as well?

We just have to do the best we can with how we are equipped.

I was dealt a difficult hand this lifetime, but I am not complaining.
Somehow I trust that eventually everything is going to be ok.