[Jmascia1011]

My wife left our 4 year old boy and myself to live with a 3 patch biker in an outlaw motorcycle gang, by the name of Gunslinger, and is using and selling drugs. I was cleaning out things recently and found a diary and love poems to a self defense teacher when she was 13, this man was arrested 2 years ago for getting his girlfriends 15 year old daughter pregnant and has been in court over charges since the mid 80s. I now realize alot of the past 12 years has been PTSD. How do I help her?

[RubyRae]

I'm sorry that your wife has left you.

In the diary,does she state anything in it about having sexual encounters of any kind with the self defense teacher?Are you assuming that she was molested or is it written down?Just curious because I remember writing things about older men and even poems if I was crushing on them at that age.

If you are positive she was molested ,that still doesn't automatically mean PTSD.Not everyone develops it.Only a professional can diagnose that.But if she was indeed molested,I'm sure she has been impacted by it,I don't think any kid could be molested without it causing some kind of long lasting harm.

Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like she left you,you found this diary and are now thinking AHA,she has PTSD,this must be why she left and is now with a biker,and you're thinking you can find a way to fix her and get her back home where you feel she belongs?

Even if she was molested,even if she does have PTSD,it doesn't mean it's why she left you.I guess interpreting your post that way has irked me a little.I have PTSD myself and I find it very hurtful,degrading and insulting when someone tries to blame any decision or choices I make,that they aren't happy with,on my illness.

Furthermore,PTSD in itself is not going to cause a woman with a husband and child to suddenly run off with a biker out of the blue.Or to start doing and selling drugs.There has to be more to the story.Maybe she wasn't happy,maybe things have not been going well between the two of you,maybe she fell out of love with you and in love with someone else.Maybe she just chose to do it.There could be many reasons.But I doubt you finding her diary and poems,diagnosing her with PTSD is THE reason.

I don't really think there's any way you can help her.She's not even with you anymore.She may not even be ready to face her past (if she was molested) and you can't force someone to.I don't think it would even be a good idea to confront her with the diary,that was her personal writings from childhood.