[seesaw]

So from time to time, my apartment manager will put notices on our doors saying they are going to do inspections and that it will be anytime between 9-5 and it's usually the next day...

This sets me off for numerous reasons.

1. It means I have very little time to make my place decent. Not perfect, but decent. Which then triggers an anxiety attack in me because I think that they are going to do something to me because my place isn't perfectly clean (like it would ever be perfectly clean anyhow).

2. My apartment is my safe place. I never have people over. It's my private space. Having strangers in it is very difficult for me and causes me a lot of anxiety. I waited a month to ask them to fix my toilet because I was so afraid of letting the maintenance worker in.

3. I have told them numerous times that they can't just tell me between 9-5. Besides the fact that I have the right to be there when they enter, unless it's an emergency, that I am often home all day and I have a disability, and it's happened before that I've been resting or sleeping when they come by and BANG on my door and having someone break into my home is a trigger for me, so I don't want there to be an incident because I completely lose it (panic responses create a fight or flight mode, right, well I fight) and assault whomever is trying to enter because I'm having a PTSD related attack of some kind.

I don't ask them for much except to tell me if it's going to be morning or afternoon, and that's a pretty good chunk of time for them to work with. I really try not to be too demanding about and it and explain I will accommodate them however they need I just need them to help me out too because I have just spent the whole afternoon in a panic attack because of this note and the fact that they didn't answer the phone every time I've tried to call for the past 3 hours, and no one has answered my emails asking for help too.

I wish I could explain to them that I was abused as a child and my room was my only safe place (most of the time), except for the times my father violently broke the door down to get at me. So people coming in uninvited or worse, whenever they want to enter they bang on the door, not just knock, triggers huge amounts of fear in me and I will go into fight mode to protect myself from this perceived threat. It's not me trying to be unreasonable or just a total ****** to them.

i feel bad that I just ripped the woman in the office's head off (she was in from another location today because apparently all our regular managers are out?). I really don't think I'm being unreasonable when I explain to them that this is a problem due to my disability and that I'm happy to make arrangements if they can just be a little more specific about what they need and the time frame they are coming in.

I sometimes feel like a hoarder does about someone coming in their space, except I don't hoard.

Does anyone else have such extreme reactions to people entering their home?

Seesaw

[Wild Coyote]

I am very protective of my space and feel it's violated easily.

I think your request is reasonable.


WC

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am very protective of my space and feel it's violated easily.

I think your request is reasonable.


WC

Thank you. I feel like such a jerk about it but it quite freaks me out. Yes, especially because of late my housekeeping skills have really gone downhill.

[Carmina]

You are in the right, my old landlords were constantly wanting to do these checks every 6 months and I had to insist that they give me plenty of notice, arrange an exact appointment, and under no circumstances were they to visit while I was not there. Luckily they have relaxed a bit about these now.

Tell them either to give you an appointment or not bother you about it.

[unaluna]

Omg i sure do. We had a power outtage a week ago sunday. I replied to the sub-manager's email that i did NOT need a fuse replacement. Didnt matter, sunday evening, BANG BANG BANG - we're here to do a fuse replacement!!!

I felt physically ill. What the hell do they think we are doing in here, that we cant hear a polite knock? Altho even that is disturbing.

I think it floods your system with adrenalin or something, fight or flight. It feels really awful.

I put the chain on the door when they say they are coming for maintenance. Because they will bang, then immediately start unlocking the door.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Omg i sure do. We had a power outtage a week ago sunday. I replied to the sub-manager's email that i did NOT need a fuse replacement. Didnt matter, sunday evening, BANG BANG BANG - we're here to do a fuse replacement!!!

I felt physically ill. What the hell do they think we are doing in here, that we cant hear a polite knock? Altho even that is disturbing.

I think it floods your system with adrenalin or something, fight or flight. It feels really awful.

I put the chain on the door when they say they are coming for maintenance. Because they will bang, then immediately start unlocking the door.

I wish I had a chain on my door so I could do that. I'm also not sure what my dogs would do with an intruder. They bark when someone is at the door, but they aren't aggressive when I answer the door. But I feel like they might get aggressive if they sense I'm in danger.

I'm also always afraid that if they're in my home they'll learn my secrets and then it will be the end of the world...

I know they are running a big property and so they have to work in certain confines, but I feel like the compromise I've asked for isn't all that demanding.

It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only person who deals with this hypervigilance concerning my home.

On the bright side, knowing they are coming tomorrow motivated me to get off my butt and do some chores and get this place into a decent shape. I've been wanting to have a daily chore routine of like 30 minutes of chores every evening to keep it tidy, so maybe this is the opportunity to get that started.

Seesaw

[leomama]

Originally Posted by seesaw

So from time to time, my apartment manager will put notices on our doors saying they are going to do inspections and that it will be anytime between 9-5 and it's usually the next day...


This sets me off for numerous reasons.


1. It means I have very little time to make my place decent. Not perfect, but decent. Which then triggers an anxiety attack in me because I think that they are going to do something to me because my place isn't perfectly clean (like it would ever be perfectly clean anyhow).


2. My apartment is my safe place. I never have people over. It's my private space. Having strangers in it is very difficult for me and causes me a lot of anxiety. I waited a month to ask them to fix my toilet because I was so afraid of letting the maintenance worker in.


3. I have told them numerous times that they can't just tell me between 9-5. Besides the fact that I have the right to be there when they enter, unless it's an emergency, that I am often home all day and I have a disability, and it's happened before that I've been resting or sleeping when they come by and BANG on my door and having someone break into my home is a trigger for me, so I don't want there to be an incident because I completely lose it (panic responses create a fight or flight mode, right, well I fight) and assault whomever is trying to enter because I'm having a PTSD related attack of some kind.


I don't ask them for much except to tell me if it's going to be morning or afternoon, and that's a pretty good chunk of time for them to work with. I really try not to be too demanding about and it and explain I will accommodate them however they need I just need them to help me out too because I have just spent the whole afternoon in a panic attack because of this note and the fact that they didn't answer the phone every time I've tried to call for the past 3 hours, and no one has answered my emails asking for help too.


I wish I could explain to them that I was abused as a child and my room was my only safe place (most of the time), except for the times my father violently broke the door down to get at me. So people coming in uninvited or worse, whenever they want to enter they bang on the door, not just knock, triggers huge amounts of fear in me and I will go into fight mode to protect myself from this perceived threat. It's not me trying to be unreasonable or just a total ****** to them.


i feel bad that I just ripped the woman in the office's head off (she was in from another location today because apparently all our regular managers are out?). I really don't think I'm being unreasonable when I explain to them that this is a problem due to my disability and that I'm happy to make arrangements if they can just be a little more specific about what they need and the time frame they are coming in.


I sometimes feel like a hoarder does about someone coming in their space, except I don't hoard.


Does anyone else have such extreme reactions to people entering their home?


Seesaw

I too don’t bring people into my home and I too have yearly inspections.
I also don’t ask my apt manager for help unless my apt is clean.
I think you just have to be up and dressed at 9am and wait. That’s how I had to do it when I wasn’t working. He usually did mine first or second .