have any of you on here ever had to deal with a triggery christmas gift?

thing is

Possible trigger:

someone sent me a gift- it's a light up santa.

no harm in that, right?

apart from the fact that when you press the button to light him up, the top of it lights up like a sparkeler (like in fireworks), and fire well.... is a massive trigger for me- especially those little sparkler things. urg.

anyway now I'm getting emails from this person.. do you like it?. do you like it?.

I want to tell them no, I don't, I'm looking at it in utter disgust

but I can't bring myself to do that.. they did make the effert to get me something

but if I have to see this monster of a santa one more time

Possible trigger:

I am banging my entire body against a wall until I bleed.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Oof...can't imagine how difficult that situation is. I don't know where you're based, but is there an option to have somebody take it to a charity shop/thrift store or something? Just to get it out of your property/sight?

'Hi X,

Thank you very much for your thoughtful gift. I really appreciate your taking the trouble.

Have a good festive period,

SS'

The above is just a suggestion.

[Open Eyes]

Don't bang yourself against the wall until you bleed. That is taking a trigger out on yourself and that's the last thing you should be doing. Also, when something you see reminds you of something that upsets you, it's an opportunity for you to acknowledge the trigger, but to also see that this gift is NOT the same actual danger that caused you to feel this way about fire and fireworks. In reality this is actually something that is basically harmless and instead is just a way to make this santa toy have something extra and creative and that it isn't going to harm you. Actually, you could use this to desensitize yourself where you set a new pathway that helps you slowly regain yourself away from being sensitive to all reminders.

Also, it's important that you step back from immediately deciding this person who actually took the time to even send you a gift only did so to upset you. There is a greater chance this individual happened to come across this Santa and chose it as a gift simply because it's different and not the "typical" boring gift.

[Wild Coyote]

I hope you can find some self-compassion and not hurt yourself more in any way.


WC

[eskielover]

Some gifts are meant to be regifted or given to a place like a thrift shop away from the same group of people.

If caught could always say, I liked it so much I found one just like it to give to ..xxxx....

Does she ever come into your house at Christmas?

If she asks where you put it (after giving it away) just comment it has a special place in my computer room where I can enjoy it & think of you every time I see it. (Just make surw computed room door is shut & locked)

Depending, if you are close friends, You could just say....yes, it was a very thoughtful gift. (You would not be lying or telling her how much you like it either)
If you know each other well, you might gracefully say it was a lovely gift but I have always had a problem handling those sparkler things from a trauma I went through & sadly it brings out those memories. I know you had no idea & I really do appreciate the thought & your kindness of sharing the giving spirit of Christmas.

I grew up having to learn the art of saying what I think without hurting the person(s) involved. Not easy but possible. Knowing the person well helps.

My parents didnt have much money when I was growing up & I always ended up triggered by the gifts I was given. They meant well & I knew it...BUT....it didnt stop me from feeling the way I felt. Most times with those gifts I would just stick them away & never use them & most times they never noticed or said anything.

Not an easy situation.

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Oof...can't imagine how difficult that situation is. I don't know where you're based, but is there an option to have somebody take it to a charity shop/thrift store or something? Just to get it out of your property/sight?

'Hi X,

Thank you very much for your thoughtful gift. I really appreciate your taking the trouble.

Have a good festive period,

SS'

The above is just a suggestion.

it's a pretty good suggestion

I'm in england, I'm pretty sure their must be a type of store like you mentioned over here

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Don't bang yourself against the wall until you bleed. That is taking a trigger out on yourself and that's the last thing you should be doing. Also, when something you see reminds you of something that upsets you, it's an opportunity for you to acknowledge the trigger, but to also see that this gift is NOT the same actual danger that caused you to feel this way about fire and fireworks. In reality this is actually something that is basically harmless and instead is just a way to make this santa toy have something extra and creative and that it isn't going to harm you. Actually, you could use this to desensitize yourself where you set a new pathway that helps you slowly regain yourself away from being sensitive to all reminders.

Also, it's important that you step back from immediately deciding this person who actually took the time to even send you a gift only did so to upset you. There is a greater chance this individual happened to come across this Santa and chose it as a gift simply because it's different and not the "typical" boring gift.

I tried to explain today (in non mental health terms), why I have problems with the gift

I just said well, it reminds m of bad things, and it's hard for me to use without thinking about it

but It didn't work so I just resorted to.. yeah, yeah I like it