[greentires4me]

it was anniversary to my first Sexual Assault yesterday....which happens to be my mothers birthday!

I was 19....it was many years ago I was drunk and drugged I had nightmares about it last night and the night before...

people think its all a ray of sunshine that people don't struggle with this type of stuff which is just phenomenally crazy.

I am sick of telling people about it I did get counselling for it and everything but the memories come slowly back as the years go on.

[ACrystalGem]

Originally Posted by greentires4me

it was anniversary to my first Sexual Assault yesterday....which happens to be my mothers birthday!

I was 19....it was many years ago I was drunk and drugged I had nightmares about it last night and the night before...

people think its all a ray of sunshine that people don't struggle with this type of stuff which is just phenomenally crazy.

I am sick of telling people about it I did get counselling for it and everything but the memories come slowly back as the years go on.

I survived 20 years of sexual abuse & violence. 2 of those ocassions happened on my birthday & 1 happened on Christmas Day. Lots of other sexual abuse happened on different days of the year, but christmas and birthdays are memorable, and I really wish they weren't. Memorable dates are much harder to shake, I've found.

I've ran away from my old family 25 years ago, and I still have flashback-nightmares and other awful effects of the trauma. But I know there isn't a time-limit on recovery. My experiences may be different to yours, but I truly believe our ability to deal with these memories improve over time. Back when I first ran, a flashback would have me floored for days - I'd end up drinking and hurting myself until I felt ok enough to just survive daily life. Nowadays, I end up in tears and feel crap, but it doesn't last for long - sometimes for a few hours, and maybe the most is 2 days. I don't know if I'll ever stop having these flashback/nightmares of the abuse - it went on for almost half my life (starting when I was 3). But I know I can mostly deal with it, thanks to decades of different types of therapy.

I wish you all the best with things. I hope you can be gentle with yourself.

[Wild Coyote]

I am sorry you are suffering.

I have endured assaults and I also find memories continue to resurface, even after lots of therapy. For me, it's gotten easier to cope over time.

Please allow yourself lots of self-compassion.


WC

[Moonrider125]

I also went through violence done by male,although it was not entirely sexual.
I use "trigger" as I'm still new here...

Possible trigger:

nearly 20 years ago,I married with a man who was very mentally unstable and 8 yrs younger than me.long story short,he tried to kill me.I lost 20 kg in 3 months.also,my father denied to help me medical expense for surgery,(not a big money)I had no choice to lie is same room in my attacker until I could move.
After that,I felt all male want to do same thing to me,even I asked my male friend,"Are you going to..?"(I had lots of "just friends"cuz I went to collage mostly boys)

some flew away from me,some patiently told me he would not.and those kind of friends eventually saved me,even I'm still in bad shape.

Here's hoping "friends"like who helped me will help you.(sorry about my bad English)