Trigger warning: Violence and Real Life Gore

TRIGGER WARNING

The following post contains:

- Real life gore
- Torture
- Snuff film
-Dog death
-Skinning alive

Please let me know if I need to add more. I feel like this is the only place I can talk about it. Everywhere else it is banned from talking about it and I really need to talk about it.

There are two viral videos going around on the internet. One involves someone being skinned alive and the other involves a dog being killed.

My curiosity got the best of me and I searched and found the skinned alive one.

I searched it because people said not to and I didn't believe something horrible like that could be real.

Oh but it was. I watched a few seconds and closed out right away. Traumatized and disturbed.

Ever since, I haven't been the same. Every night around 3 am when everyone is asleep.

I think I hear the guy who got killed walking around the house. I swear I see him sometimes just standing there staring at me. Sometimes I worry he will chase me.

Even though he is dead and wouldn't haunt me.

I can't get the images out of my head and fear that I gave myself some type of PTSD because of watching it and getting traumatized.

I feel paranoid and hyperviligilant, also jumpy.

Only late at night, when no one is awake.

I'm sorry if this triggered anyone but I need help.

Is there anything I can do to cope?

I'm really suffering...

I'm afraid to sleep because of it.

I know it's my own fault, for watching it. But I need help.

Caelix,

There are viral videos on the net that can look real but they are not. I am sorry you got curious and ended up getting triggered badly. Remember, this is your own mind and you need to take care of it so that means making decisions to not expose yourself to things that might leave your mind confused and frightened. When you do struggle the way you are describing you can make choices about what is actually a danger to you verses something that has nothing to do with you and isn't something you have to worry about personally. Having bad dreams is simply because your mind doesn't know what to do with what it was exposed to. It's important that you don't just assume that means you need to continue being frightened or that you are in some kind of danger. Also, when it comes to this 3am time that you struggle, well, this is a very common time when a person experiences rem sleep and dreams. This is something "fiction" writers have used as some kind of bewitching hour, it's important to pay attention to that one word, "fiction". You have more power than you think when it comes to believing and making choices to not get involved with things that are meant to scare people.

The reason it really scared me is because it actually was real.

I found out later from a friend. That that is one of those real life gore websites with real stuff.

Otherwise I probably wouldn't have gotten as scared as I got recently. Since I watch horror movies often and am pretty much desensitized.

I'm trying to cope but it's already been two days and I'm still panicky.

I feel like it would be ridiculous for me to see a therapist over something that was my own fault.

It's just meat. Stick to Care Bears if you don't want to embrace your animal.

Stuff like this happens all the time. Most people live in ignorant bliss and deny that its real. They like to live in their own little bubble and pretend everything is ok when its really not. You imagining the person walking around who was skinned is probably just you realizing that their is that type of **** out there. You'll be fine.

As to your question of whether you could get some kind of PTSD from it, the DSM-V states that you can't get PTSD from media, so you are safe. The nightmares and waking up should taper off, but if they don't in 3 months, I would check in with my medical doctor.

Perhaps more along the lines of Anxiety?
Whatever you saw obviously frightened you, so perhaps look into the anxiety thread? I hope you find some peace.

Lord have mercy I can't watch fictional torture (such as hostel movies) without being rattled. You poor thing. Remember what they say love, don't go looking if you don't want to find it!

I think you should sit down and write down you thoughts and feelings about the experience. Literally get them out of your system, per se. You can't undo what you saw,but I bet that the exercise will help.

Oh, and when the thoughts and images creep into your mind, affirm "These are just thoughts" over and over again until you move along to something else.