[Skeezyks]

I watched the two 3-segment seasons of the British crime drama "Unforgotten" (starring Nicola Walker & Sanjeev Bhaskar) on our local PBS station. For those who haven't seen it, it is about police detectives trying to solve crimes that occurred years earlier.

In the last segment of the second season, DCI Cassie Stewart (Walker) is talking with a suspect who had been sexually abused as a child. And during the discussion, she mentions she has read that people who have been abused can recognize others who have been abused because people who have suffered abuse carry themselves differently. So I wondered if this is something that is actually perhaps considered to be true, or could be true, or if it's just something the writers thought up for the story. What do you think?

The story involved individuals who were sexually abused as children. However DCI Stewart didn't specify people who had been sexually abused. She just said abused. I was never sexually abused. But I certainly was both verbally as well as physically abused for years. One time, while I was talking with my last therapist regarding my life-long gender identity issues, she commented: "Well, you know you don't have the most masculine walk." No one had ever said that to me before nor was it anything I had ever been aware of. But now I wonder if the comment in "Unforgotten", & my therapist's comment could possibly be related. And I wonder if this is perhaps part of the reason that it so often seemed like other people could sense that I was... as the saying goes... "easy pickings". Perhaps those of us who have suffered abuse send out "signals" we don't even realize we're sending.?

[unaluna]

I believe so, yes.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I watched the two 3-segment seasons of the British crime drama "Unforgotten" (starring Nicola Walker & Sanjeev Bhaskar) on our local PBS station. For those who haven't seen it, it is about police detectives trying to solve crimes that occurred years earlier.


In the last segment of the second season, DCI Cassie Stewart (Walker) is talking with a suspect who had been sexually abused as a child. And during the discussion, she mentions she has read that people who have been abused can recognize others who have been abused because people who have suffered abuse carry themselves differently. So I wondered if this is something that is actually perhaps considered to be true, or could be true, or if it's just something the writers thought up for the story. What do you think?


The story involved individuals who were sexually abused as children. However DCI Stewart didn't specify people who had been sexually abused. She just said abused. I was never sexually abused. But I certainly was both verbally as well as physically abused for years. One time, while I was talking with my last therapist regarding my life-long gender identity issues, she commented: "Well, you know you don't have the most masculine walk." No one had ever said that to me before nor was it anything I had ever been aware of. But now I wonder if the comment in "Unforgotten", & my therapist's comment could possibly be related. And I wonder if this is perhaps part of the reason that it so often seemed like other people could sense that I was... as the saying goes... "easy pickings". Perhaps those of us who have suffered abuse send out "signals" we don't even realize we're sending.?

I don’t know, I’ve been described as fierce or defensive. I’m a woman with PTSD. I had narcissistic parents and husband and fiancé. My mom was physically abusive. My ex fiancé was emotionally abusive. Trauma at a young age can shape your brain.

[SorryShaped]

I certainly don't carry myself as others do.

[pachyderm]

If you are still suffering the effects, yes. A tendency to cringe, still expecting the blows to rain down upon you.

It can lead to present-day stress, too, since many other people see the fear, and, not wanting to see it, can be inclined to attack.

[seeker33]

I believe it might be true. I know I have body language that suggests I have low self esteem and sometimes when I look at strange people (I see many strangers at work) sometimes I just "know" a person is or was abused. Obviously I can't ask and prove if my gut feeling is right, but I certainly do have moments when I just "feel" it.