[Cantrun]

At a family camping trip I was out with Sam my brother in –law at night test driving his off-road sand-rail. I was with a friend in another vehicle and my 16 yr old son and Rick were with Sam. He flipped the vehicle ahead of us at a high rate of speed .When we came upon the wreck one person was in the dirt road and Rick said it was my son, I could not free myself from the off-road style seatbelts for a while. When I was able to get out my son appeared from the bushes, he was wearing the same style jacket as Sam. My relief was short lived as Sam was real bad and died right there at my side. It was His wife, 5yr old daughter and 2 yr old son were back at camp. The decision was made not to tell his wife until her sisters and family could make the 3 hour drive to the desert. So I went back with a friend to stay with him so he wouldn’t be alone, left to the elements. The coroner couldn’t get there until daylight so we spent the whole night with him, that was tough... I did return to camp briefly when the family arrived because no one could tell he he was gone, I don’t blame them, so I had to tell her … I figured I was already broken, they didn’t want to say those words and see that look, and I still am broken,10 years later. So tomorrow I’m going in for help.

Hello and welcome to PsychCentral!

I am very sorry that you had to go through this. It's totally not your fault. You do not deserve to be broken.


I hope you get better ASAP.

Lots of love.
Chemist.

[Gus1234U]

i'm glad you have decided to reach out, that is the best thing to do. tho it seems hard, repeating your experience over and over can be one of the ways to take out it's sting.

best wishes~!

[Unrigged64072835]

Welcome to PC!

It's so hard to live through that. But it's good that you are going to get help.