[OreoKat]

I recently have been thinking about my childhood as an adult and remember my brother and I having encounters of dry humping. I was 7-12 and he was 9-14 yrs old. It started out confusing to me and then I became uncomfortable with it and remember feeling fearful when telling him I didn’t want to do this (not sure why). When I think about the fear at this time, a flashback comes of me being held down by my wrist, naked and anger (as a child), I am not sure who is holding me down. Also my wrist starts to hurt in real life and I often start to gag and almost throw up when this flashback occurs. How do I know this flashback is likely real? And if it is likely real how can I find out who is holding me down? Would this having anything to do with my situation with my brother when I was younger?

[QueenCopper]

I hate flashbacks. I would have to say the best way to find out is to talk to a therapist so they can help you sort this out. Good luck.

[Rive1976]

I have been on the search for repressed memories all of my adult life. 20 years and I have only had 1 flashback that I am absolutely sure happened. The reason I know is because it came in the middle of me walking out of the door I wasnt thinking about anything but where I was going. It was just like bam and although in my case I knew who did it I dont know what context it was in. I am still on the search for that. So I just wanted to say you arent alone.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by OreoKat

I recently have been thinking about my childhood as an adult and remember my brother and I having encounters of dry humping. I was 7-12 and he was 9-14 yrs old. It started out confusing to me and then I became uncomfortable with it and remember feeling fearful when telling him I didn’t want to do this (not sure why). When I think about the fear at this time, a flashback comes of me being held down by my wrist, naked and anger (as a child), I am not sure who is holding me down. Also my wrist starts to hurt in real life and I often start to gag and almost throw up when this flashback occurs. How do I know this flashback is likely real? And if it is likely real how can I find out who is holding me down? Would this having anything to do with my situation with my brother when I was younger?

I really cannot answer your questions because I was not there. I believe you when you said there were encounters with your brother. Sounds to me like you are only remembering bits and pieces. I have that experience, too. Perhaps you have had many episodes that happened? Maybe there is more you do not recall? I know that is the situation with me but I don't know what happened with you. I think you can sort it out best with a therapist though. It may take some time and patience. So sorry you were hurt.

[MtnTime2896]

Not remembering key details of a traumatic event is more common than one may think. In my case, it started with the first time I had sex, but I shoved it away because there was no way that had happened to me. Eventually, one drunken night I had a severe flashback and dissociated the rest of the night and into the next day. I still didn't have the full memory, I mostly just felt the physical pains/sensations. It was only through working with a trauma counselor that I was able to access more aspects of the event, though I'm still missing a piece or two. That was one memory but I have recently started having flashbacks, dreams and intrusive memories (if that's what they are) over several different events. I'm unsure if this really took place, though my counselor is pretty sure these are memories because of the trauma work we've done.

Long story short, I believe the only way to truly know is through therapy. In my case, my counselor did something called brainspotting. It's like EMDR without the being re-traumatized. It helped me a lot and I'm still using it to work through these "new" memories. Take care and PM me anytime.