[darkfeary]

After many years Of domestic violence and abuse, I am left with severe complex ptsd. It is so horrible that I feel completely unsafe all the time and I feel constant impending doom. It also makes me dread the future, aging, illness, dying to the point of being paralyzed with fear, unable to function.

I just feel convinced that my entire life will be miserable and scary and that I will not live long at all. Doing even the littlest things is torture. Psych doctors and therapists and other treatments are useless foe me because nothing and no one helps. I am so worried that I am going to stay stuck in this hell forever.

[Marie123]

I am so sorry you are feeling like that. I grew up with a mother who physically and verbally abused me (also molested), and married an abuser...divorced after 31 years. Whatever we put into our thoughts, it affects us. If you are able to change some of your thoughts, it might help. I used to do a ton of self-talk......you can tell yourself that your life will/can be whatever you choose it to be. Keeping a journal can help....write down all of your feelings and thoughts. Unfortunately, there are some things therapists, etc. can't help us with. I made a decision that what happened to me was not going to determine what my life would be. You don't have to stay stuck in that hell forever....you do have choices. Is there something you would like to do? Decide you will do just one little thing....little baby steps a little at a time. You feel paralyzed with fear, but you are able to function....that fear will keep you from living, Iknow. Do you have a pet? Sometimes that can help you feel a little less lonely.