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Old Jan 28, 2008, 05:49 PM
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jacq10 jacq10 is offline
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Maybe this is a dumb question, and I apologize if it is... but I was just wondering if you can experience PTSD from the loss (not from death) of a significant person in your life?

(In my case, a mother-like figure)

Just trying to understand....

Thanks
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  #2  
Old Jan 28, 2008, 07:48 PM
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It doesn't really fit the diagnoses requirements, unless that person's passing was traumatic in itself and you were involved or around to witness it. Does this makes sense? There has to be some sense of fear of dying or nearly dying personally for the dx to fit.

Overwhelming grief is a very strong emotion though, and I'm sorry you are experiencing it.

However, if say that person that passed caused a person to be traumatized, what that someone might experience is a triggering of those intense emotions connected with the PTSD from the prior trauma, once the victimizer passes. Does this makes sense, also?
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Old Jan 28, 2008, 08:00 PM
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umm... you lost me on the second one PTSD for grief/loss?? ... sorry!
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Old Jan 28, 2008, 08:13 PM
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Ok. (((hugs)))

Jacq, this is purely hypothetical, ok? If the passing of your relative was not in itself a trauma such as a car accident where you were also in the car, and you are experiencing more emotions than the normal levels of grief (anger, denial etc) there is a possiblity that this person who passed may have "abused" you or a sibling (in your presence) and the emotions arising are from that trauma.

Did this help?
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Old Jan 28, 2008, 08:18 PM
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umm, kind of PTSD for grief/loss??

But see, for me, no one died .. They're just not longer in my life. I was just really (emotionally) hurt by this "mother-figure" - not actually a relative - and for reasons I don't care to talk about, her an I no longer have contact. Well, I should say, that she doesn't feel the need to contact me anymore.

does this make more sense?

Sorry for all the confusion/me misunderstanding PTSD for grief/loss??
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  #6  
Old Jan 28, 2008, 09:03 PM
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<blockquote>
jacq10: I was just wondering if you can experience PTSD from the loss (not from death) of a significant person in your life? ... (In my case, a mother-like figure)

If I understand you correctly, you lost someone who was very important to you but this loss was not due to their death. What seems to be most important to your situation is the circumstances surrounding the loss and the fact that this person served as a "mother-like" figure in your life.

Can you identify the emotions you feel in regard to the reasons for the loss? Can you identify the emotions you feel in regard to the loss of this "mother-like" figure in your life? Those are probably the areas you need to focus your attention on.

If your relationship with your real mother included traumatic aspects or had a traumatic ending, I could see how this more recent loss might stir up some unresolved trauma for you. It might be helpful to examine your relationship with your own mother as well to see if what happened in your relationship with her is having any impact on what's happening now.


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Old Jan 29, 2008, 12:43 AM
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Oh man PTSD for grief/loss?? I can't even go there ... this is too much. I shouldn't have posted anything ...

I can't get these thoughts to leave me the heck alone. EVERYTHING is triggering.

Why do I need her so badly?

PTSD for grief/loss??

.... I'm sorry guys, I do appreciate your responses ... I just.. not now.
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  #8  
Old Jan 29, 2008, 01:30 AM
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<blockquote>
Do take your own time jacq10. Obviously, there's something here that's very painful for you. Touching that or bringing it out, is comparable to exposing a raw nerve. It can really REALLY hurt and we often do need to pull back from it a bit.

This can be a good time to allow yourself to practice self-mercy and self-compassion. No matter the circumstances, it can hurt terribly to lose the people we love. Part of healing is allowing ourselves to feel the pain of that loss, but if it's a really big loss, we often can only deal with it one small piece at a time. This is why when we need to pull back, we should.



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Thanks for this!
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  #9  
Old Jan 29, 2008, 10:12 AM
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All loss causes grief and the grief process can be quite long and intense but is its own natural process rather than an illness or unnatural "problem" like PTSD is.

Here's what happens in the grief process:

http://www.uvm.edu/~chwb/counseling/...urces/faq.html
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Old Jan 29, 2008, 03:17 PM
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ty(perna))))))) for putting that site up
(jac)))))) its ok to be sad
thats all i can say
but get help if you need it
  #11  
Old Jan 29, 2008, 04:32 PM
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ty all...
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  #12  
Old Aug 20, 2011, 12:57 AM
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I want to tell you is from my own perspective, and what I did is not the same as what another might be. YES, I HAVE PTSD in large part due to shocking, traumatic and sudden loss. Have had PTSD for 24 years now. I tried to take a dirt nap several times but I survived and continue to survive due to the intervention of God and nothing else. All I said was, "Help me!" and He did.

God gives YOU grace to live through it all. Whether or not you feel close to Jesus, ask Him anyway! He's always waiting for your invitation.

Take care!

'Jesus Loves YOU!!', says Mother Angelica. Google her!
EWTN/Mother Angelica

peej
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Last edited by peejcrafter; Aug 20, 2011 at 02:08 AM. Reason: to make what I'm saying make sense and to wish her well
  #13  
Old Aug 27, 2011, 06:13 PM
reader1587 reader1587 is offline
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Yes I think absolutely. "Loss" is not always merely physical, after all we are psychosocial beings, I think many people who "lose" a partner to Alzheimer's feel this way.

The criteria for PTSD are being expanded as they should be in my opinion, to take into account things such as the meaning of the event to the person, and how their ability to tolerate the experience matches up to the level of stress.
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Old Aug 27, 2015, 04:20 AM
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hi jacq10,
I have experienced a loss this year . my choir director retired this May . im still dealing w the loss still and im afraid to go back to church and choir due in part that my former choir won't be back cuz that now that she is retired . she was like a mother figure to me and my confident for 15 years as my choir director
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