[Kelly3]

Y'know when you have those awful dreams of something in your past?
And you have no idea WHY you're dreaming it?
And occasionally your dreams contain people who are completely unrelated to the reality of the dream?
Well, I found out why and It answered a few of my questions, so here goes;

Your mind works in loops.
a completed loop being.. for example (abuse-speak out-punishment/result)
sometimes, when the outcome isn't as it SHOULD be(ie. abuser not prosecuted etc), the loop is not completed, and your mind dreams as a way to complete the loop.

I'll use my experience as an example.
I was sexually abused by two different people, 2 weeks between the 2.
I had the same dream many a time, the dream being the folllowing:
It was at a local manor house (where my dad works)
I was with my friend harriet, who was spinning in circles laughing as i was raped by my 1st abuser.
I punched him straight in the face and cut off his penis (twisted, yes, i know).
the reason for this dream was that I got my own back on him by punching him, and by cutting off his penis, i was preventing him from doing what he did to me, to anyone else(which is a big worry of mine).
Harriet had nothing to do with the reality of what happened. She's what you'd call a "borrowed face". I'd used a face from my memory at random. She was laughing and spinning around in the dream because I feel as though no-one cares and they like to see me in pain.

Also, the reason that you never get a good night's sleep when you're having a dream about your past is that you're not ACTUALLY asleep. Y'know how dreams seem so real? Well, your mind is alert (even more so than when you're awake) incase it needs to defend itself. So if you've had a night's "sleep" in which you were dreaming.. you haven't been sleeping as such. Therefore you're entitled to be exhausted

I haven't really explained it as well as I could have, but I hope you get my point. And hope it may help someone.

If this has helped you, and you'd like to hear a bit more about it,(as i haven't explained it as well as i could've) then go to the following link;

http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/learning_path.htm

^ You'll need to scroll down to the right section.

take care everyone. xxx

[wickedwings]

holy friggin crap! it makes total sense! both your explaination and the info from the link you provided sure perked up my interest... thanks a ton for this! seriously.

[calculated_delusion]

wow. I see now. I have AWFUL dreams like that almost every night. about a week ago, I elbowed my husband in my sleep and gave him a black eye b/c of these incessant dreams.... I wake up screaming, sobbing, irritated... it just doesn't stop. I hate it. what you're saying does seem to make some sense of it all, though. thanks.

that makes a lot of sense kelly

[I_WMD]

>>>>>>>>>>>... Kell ... ,,,,,,,,,,,, Just to say ,,, I now just read this ,,, We Talk .... But the finished loop thing I hear ya ,,, I tell ya how one of my abusers ,,, went bye bye years later .. True Story.

[wisewoman]

This makes so much sense to me. Now for me I need to dream of not being the victim but of surviving as you did.