[(JD)]

Well I tried. I was going to go help volunteer this morning (late) just because... it didn't work out.

I am not sleeping well .. even worse on this med (gabitril) and then I have to take one dose as soon as I wake...

it makes my mind feel like I imagine those with OCD feel... go go go go do do do do (doo doo is right)... but doesn't give me the wherewithal to do so!

The place to go was only 8 miles away, I even got mapquest directions to be sure... yeah wrong place! So then I figured out where I should be... ended up at another wrong place! Both these places had significance in my life prior to the injury (nearly 18 years ago!!!!)

It took me 50 miles and 1 1/2 hours to reach the place, and they were just closing up.

Then coming home, I thought about going on to where I also wanted to stop by and say hello at (a Scouting event) since I am a "big wig" to them... they appreciate it... but came on home.

I can't get it together to go back out... now will be dark soon... I can't imagine how lost I'd get in the dark and how bright the lights will seem in the dark!

I did get the mail. The packet from the pain center came. I had to tell the guy on the phone Thursday that I was not coming to the center Sunday... he argued with me! That my adjuster had made the appointment (SO?) and and and and then I told him I hadn't received the packet I ASKED FOR last month. He argued with me that it'd been sent ... blah blah blah

No way do I think I can do that. Unfortunately, all the normal answers a person in pain gives, they counter in the packet as part of the pain syndrome... duh. So if I'm trying to recover physical ability at their center, why do they treat everyone like it's all in their heads? By that I mean, lock up your stuff, no private rooms, lock you out of your room during "therapy' hours, and no cell phones! You can only call.... you know? Just like lock up!

They have no accounting for my PTSD... no changes in arrangements... and no allowances for my service dog! Now just where do you suppose I put him while I'm locked up for a month???

They rally themselves because everyone who comes to their center, leaves free of pain meds! WOW well, then read the packet... you are only allowed to take 2 WEEKS worth of pain med! and it's a month long program in lock up... so... um... let's see... that would mean you run out and YES everyone leaves "off" their needed pain meds!

in actuality, I would like to be able to do this, but that they won't change the program because I get tremorring or migraines and I have to continue my exercise or their therapy regardless.. and no naps.. duh why would I even try?

Sky, I know nada about chronic pain, and pain clinic treatment. I know, I'm VERY lucky. But the one part of your note that stuck out for me was that they don't make accomodations for your service dog. That sounds to me like an ADA violation. Not only that, but its damn inhumane. Plus it pissed me off.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It really stinks.

Take care. Emmy

[Rapunzel]

{{{{{{{{{{{Sky}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I don't know what to tell you, but here's another ((((((hug)))))) for you. It just sounds rotten to me. What does your T say about this whole thing?

[(JD)]

Thanks for the hugs! Turns out it was a squirrelly week!

I became sick from the gabitril... and sicker with each day I took it...

Monday the new gardener came back to finish stuff... and decided to plant a plant voluntarily for me, cut through my tv cable... another story... but no cable all week..

and my computer had picked up the sasser worm from the tech who checked it out before sending it back to me...

I'm still sick... but healing now off gabitril I was so sick I picked up my narcotic pain med a week late! got the picture?

Anyway, now I'm wondering, why bother with a pain specialist (medical) anyway? I've tried the alternate seizure/pain meds.. except neurontin (oh sigh.) and am allergic to other pain meds (even the generic of the one I CAN take..)

I already have a physical therapist, a pain/stress psychologist and an MD with pain meds... unless the MD insists on farming me out, I 'd rather stay the way things are.

So tired of trying... what a trauma... almost dying AGAIN! I can't count how many times I've looked it in the um er f a c e?

so tired of trying... trying not to succumb to depression right now... but tired of trying that too... guess it's normal after what I've just been through but since when am I normal?

[Rapunzel]

Have you honestly met anyone who is normal? And admits to it? I am sorry you had a bad week.

[(JD)]

gee I sure hope my psychologist is normal lol

[SweetCrusader]

It's been my experience that psychologist are often among the least "normal" people