Nightmare

Triggers mostly having to do with helplessness and bullying.

I was wondering if any of you have any thoughts about this dream (I sent it to my T also, and copied and pasted here):

I'm afraid that I will forget most of it but that the feelings will keep haunting me. In fact, I thought I was awake and had checked the clock and it was two hours ago and I had just barely woken up from the nightmare and my heart was pounding and I thought about writing it down then, but I was also glad I didn't have to get up yet. Then I lost two hours. Must have fallen asleep again, and I have some flexibility today, but I forgot to wake Jonathan up so he's late for school.

It started with a normal dream that I can't remember much of except I know that I was working with a team on something important. I also remember being afraid that someone would wake me up and I wouldn't be able to finish it or remember it, so at that point I knew it was a dream. Then in the dream I took one of the kids to school, and went in with them, and when I came out I couldn't find my car. For some reason I was apparently driving Mark's truck, which I never do. I went walking down the street looking for the red truck, and decided that it must have been stolen. I saw a red truck at some point with a black dog in the back, and thought maybe that was it but I couldn't remember if I had brought Taz (my black lab), and the dog turned out to be a border collie, but not a mini one like Nosie (border collie, poodle cross).

I noticed a guy riding a bicycle and another guy on foot chasing him and harrassing him and he made the guy on the bicycle crash. I was glad he wasn't following me like that. Then the guy with the bicycle was gone and the other guy was right behind me, not even inches away, standing over me and breathing into my hair and my face. He followed me like that, all the way down the street, and I tried to tell him to stop, but my voice wouldn't work. I went back up the other side of the street, past some construction workers, and I tried to gesture at the guy who was bothering me, and tried to scream help me, but my voice wouldn't work, and the construction workers ignored everything even though they were just standing around doing nothing and looking in my direction.

Meanwhile the guy was still getting in my face, and was biting my ears. He was smiling the whole time - not a friendly smile but more smug like he knew what he was doing and nobody could stop him. I got my cell phone out of my pocket and tried to call 911, and I couldn't get the phone to start ringing. I thought maybe I was dialing the wrong number. One time my mother answered, and I still couldn't talk so I hung up and kept trying to call 911 but I was waiting forever for the phone to start ringing, and kept trying again.

All the time the guy wouldn't leave me alone, whether I walked or gestured to him to stop or gestured to someone else to get help. I figured that my phone must not be working, and went into the school and asked to use their phone to call 911. I guess I managed to talk that much. It still wouldn't ring. I grabbed a phone book and started looking for other numbers to call.

The guy had stayed outside when I went into the school, but now he came in and breathed in my hair again, but went back out. I went down a hallway and found a room full of people I knew, apparently working on whatever that project was that was so important, and my voice wouldn't work again, and the guy didn't follow me there, but I could still see him out the window.

It was somebody I didn't know - tallish and overweight with a lot of facial hair as if he just hadn't shaved in a while, and wearing a white tee-shirt with many-colored lettering on it. I knew if I went back outside, he would start again, but I couldn't get any help. Somehow being harrassed bothered me more than the truck being stolen (which I wasn't sure about but I really couldn't find it anywhere). I was going to report the stolen truck too, but what I really wanted was for someone to get the guy to leave me alone.

That's it. And during the part of the dream that I remembered, it seemed real, and still felt like it had really happened after I was semi-awake. It felt creepy. Oh, I don't know what city that was in either. It wasn't where I live now, or anyplace I have lived before. When I was trying to find another number for emergency services, I was looking for a city and county that both started with C. I was thinking Carbon County. It was a semi-rural area, with rolling hills and green grass and not a lot of trees, but it was rainy. All the buildings were very new, and there was a lot of open space.

That's it. Any thoughts?

(((((((((((((((((Rap))))))))))))))))
no thoughts.... but support!!! Oh my t said something about cars or other modes of transportation are how we "move in the world" -not literally, but ... like in my dream someone stole my car, then when i got it back, the brakes and steering locked up and the tires went flat - i was stuck... which mirrored my life at the time.

hope some sense of it comes to you! kiya

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A couple of thoughts...

Nothing in the first part of your dream really stuck with me. It seemed as if the dog, the truck, the school were just a replay of your daily events. Where things seemed to take a more dramatic turn was when the two guys and the bicycle showed up -- I was glad he wasn't following me like that, you said. What struck me as interesting about this passage was that, first you were observing someone else being "victimized" and then, you became the "victim". I wondered if there was a trigger in your daily life. For example, have you recently witnessed someone else going through an experience similar to yours which then, stirred up your old wounds?

The most predominant theme seems to be your sense of powerlessness, you are constantly looking to an "other" to provide assistance and rescue but no help comes -- not from the construction workers, 911, or your mother. In fact, the only time you have any respite at all is when you go into the school. Something about this act disempowers your oppressor -- The guy had stayed outside when I went into the school, but now he came in and breathed in my hair again, but went back out. ... the guy didn't follow me there, but I could still see him out the window.

A school is a place of learning so it seems to me that by educating yourself, you are weakening the hold of your oppressor and any attendant trauma. I think this is where you need to pay the most attention -- to re-empowering yourself, especially through education.

The dream also seems to hold a promise for you... I was looking for a city and county that both started with C. I was thinking Carbon County. It was a semi-rural area, with rolling hills and green grass and not a lot of trees, but it was rainy. All the buildings were very new, and there was a lot of open space. You seem to describe this place in positive terms and I suspect it represents where you're heading.

Overall, this doesn't strike me as a dream that says, "Hurrah! You're done!" It's more like, "Keep plugging away knowing you're going in the right direction."

My two cents.

((((((((( Kiya ))))))))))))

Yes, I do feel stuck a lot.

Yeah, the first part was just a normal dream. It didn't seem that important. It was they guy who was following me and invading my space, and the sense of being powerless, that really bothered me.

I witness people being victimized quite a lot. And boundaries are a major theme for me (always have been), as well as for a current client. So is feeling unhelped, or feeling unworthy of being helped.

I did like the place where I was. It was a new place, and I was hopeful about it, and liked that I seemed to be involved in something important there, although I didn't like the guy intruding on it and ruinging things and making me feel stuck and helpless and victimized. I think that I'm afraid that my problems and limitations or something will always interfere with whatever I try to do and maybe I won't ever be able to overcome it.

Thanks for the reply. It felt like there was a lot of significance in what you said.

Hmmm could it be that YOU are on the edge of a new adventure which has much promise, and there's a guy in your life that is still hanging on to the past with you?

Hmm, I wonder who thet could be...

I have dreams where I am in danger or need help and my voice wont come out. I hate that.