[Lexicon78]

I was on the phone last night with my boyfriend and we were talking about sex, ya know, what we like, what we don't like. Well, I started getting really scared that he was gonna try to rape me if we got together. I know this is all my sexual abuse crap resurfacing, but it scares the hell out of me. I'm afraid to tell him that this is happening. I don't want to scare him off or anything. I know he really likes me, but I can't keep doing this. We've been doing this for a few days, and I didn't start having this reaction until last night. I'm so afraid that I'll hurt him if I do say something. I don't want to do that.

What should I do? I'll probably talk about it in group therapy, but he's in there with me. I don't want him to feel bad.

[(JD)]

Sorry this is happening now Lexi... or anytime! When you share in group, just keep it about YOU and not him, because it really is. If he takes offense, it's better in group than alone! (And that would be HIS problem- taking offense)

There are at least 2 sides to telling him: the one you mention, and another I can think of right now. What if he takes that information to "manipulate" you, shame you, control you.. etc because then he knows you are triggered. It's a terrible thought, and I sure hope you have a better relationship than that.. but if I don't say it, maybe no one will?

Be safe!