[Leah_J]

Hey, I have a small concern.

I think I might possibly have schizophrenia. Maybe. A few of my friends think I do.

The symptoms I have currently:
Fear of social situations
Paranoia
Hearing Voices
Crying for no reason
Hearing things that aren't there
Low self-esteem
Strange fantasies
Panic Attacks
Severe Anxiety
Depression
I suspect maybe obsessive compulsive.
Eating more than I should lately.
Spending more time on the internet I should.

The thing that worries me most, though, are the voices and the fantasies.

The voices threaten me constantly, and though I know nothing will happen, I 'm still scared out of my mind (pardon the pun, lol.)

And I'm really embarrassed to say what my fantasies are, but...
I'm constantly fantasizing about murdering people. Everyone, anyone off the street. Every time I do, I start feeling flushed and excited, and my chest tightens. Especially when someone makes me angry.

NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG. I would never murder someone. It's 'wrong', and of course, no matter how much I plan it out, I would be caught. I'm not smarter than the authorites. I'm not that far gone yet.

When I was around nine, I went over to a female friend of mine's house, and we were just playing around, then all of sudden she just pinned me to the ground and tried to get her hands in my pants. Eventually, I threw her off, and ran out, but ever since then I've been scared of people in general. I never told anyone about it.

Plus, my dad has been teasing me and making fun of me since I was just a little girl. I know he thinks it's just having fun, but honestly, it really hurts my self-esteem (trust me, he likes to hit below the belt. He's always calling me fat, stupid, ugly, and several other names I can't even remember.). No matter how much I beg my mother to tell him to stop, she tells me to stop being so dramatic and get over it.

So, opinions from anyone?

[pachyderm]

I find it interesting that you have put this in both the PTSD and Schizophrenia forums -- since I feel that schizophrenia is a PTSD. From what you write I think you have encountered a certain amount of psychological stress in your life -- enough to be traumatizing...? That you would know more about than we at first meeting.

[Sannah]

Low self-esteem

Depression
Crying for no reason

Severe Anxiety
Strange fantasies
Panic Attacks
Fear of social situations
I suspect maybe obsessive compulsive.

Eating more than I should lately.
Spending more time on the internet I should.

Hearing things that aren't there
Paranoia
Hearing Voices

Hi, you can have psychotic features with depression. Eating and internet to excess are escape tactics (addictions).

The low self-esteem probably caused the depression and anxiety (tell your dad thanks for that).

I think that you need to seek help because this stuff is fixable. What would be your mom's reaction to that?

[Leah_J]

My mother's reactions to my symptoms?

She won't believe me. I tell her all the time, and she simply tells me it's only teenage angst and I'm looking ffor attention.

I want medical help, but I'm under 18, and I could never afford it on my own.

It seemed likely it was some form of depression, seeing as how that and drug and alcohol abuse runs in my family.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Leah_J

My mother's reactions to my symptoms?

I meant your mother's reaction to you getting therapy? I guess you answered this question, though.

Can you talk to a school counselor?