[wolffsteph]

Funny thing the other day I recieved a phone call for a job and the man from the employment office remembered me before I got out of the Navy. I told him everything I have been through recently and I stopped and he said Can I ask you a question? I said of course and he then proceeded with have you written a book yet? It made me laugh because I think that I should but would not know where to start. My husband and I are are still arguing with one another and I am tired of my son having to see us do that. I love my husband with all my heart but it has to stop. He needs to prove how much he loves me and prove that he wants to be a part of my and my son's life. I am tired of the drama and the heartache. Maybe I am to be alone and with my son for the rest of my life.

[phoenix7]

a book might be a good idea - even if you never send it off anywhere - writing cam somtimes help you to sort things out in your head.

are you and your husband getting any councelling services to help you through your problems?

I am sorry you are so upset - I hope things improve for you, your husband and your son soon P7

[madisgram]

have you considered some therapy for yourself to sort these feelings out? sounds like a good sounding board would help you.
as for your relationship with your husband, how about some family counseling? it might bring out things into the open that will help you and your husband. if you both love each other it doesn't mean you and your son must be separated from your husband. it's worth considering.

[wolffsteph]

My husband does not believe in getting professional help. While I was in the military I was seeing a therapist and I was in counseling when I was eight years old. We take it day by day and I am just unsure of what to do anymore because I love him truly and would do anything for him and he is a great father to our son now that he does not work. I am the only one bringing in income from my diability from the military but even then we are living with my parents right now due to financial state. I feel like a failure and a burden to my parents. I never wanted things to get this bad. I am all for help and talking to doctors. But it takes two to make things work. How I am to help if he is not willing to go get professional help with me?? As for my son he is the best and is taken care of wonderfully. He is the apple of my eye and I love him so much. To be honest he is the only thing that keeps me going. Before he was ever concieved I was on the verge of just going away from everyone. I cut my family off because of my DUI and I feel like a disappointment to everyone. I am better now I am just waiting to get back on meds. My physical disability does not help the situation when I need help with my son my husband thinks that I just milk my knee injury and that it does not hurt. I do write things down to get out of my mind and it does calm me down. I get it all out on paper instead of hurting people like I used to do when I was younger.

[madisgram]

thanks for the reply. sorry i just noticed you had. well why not get yourself back in therapy even if your h doesn't want to participate? it sounds like the life situation, being with your parents, etc., has added to the feelings you are having. you need a good sounding board, some objective guidance. i'm hoping this is an option for you. i can't tell you how much therapy has helped me. it enabled me to untangle the web of thoughts i was having and helped me sort out any conflicts giving me viable solutions to those problems. with your mil. diasability in place, i'd give it a shot! you have been in that setting before and i hope it was beneficial to you.
then perhaps you and the h can come to a meeting of the minds. sounds like you two love each other a lot. that's worth doing some of the foot work to get you all back on track...keep us posted will u? we care about you.

[Capp]

((wolffsteph))
You certainly have a lot going on in your life right now...
Thank you for posting and sharing with us.

I'd like to add a few words to what has already been said...
If therapy is available for you, please go. Because your husband won't does not mean you shouldn't go--in a way, it's all the more reason for you to go.
It will help you work through the many things that are hurting you. Perhaps it will also show you things you can do for yourself as far as your husband's refusal to go.

You don't have to base your decision on his denial about problems. You are aware of them and there is no reason you should hold back from trying to solve them.
It's a surprise to many people that once one person goes then the other will do--they notice some changes and can get a bit nosy. That's the time to invite them to try it a few times.

Peace and Power,
Cap

[phoenix7]

Hi Wolffstef,

yep if you can go to therapy on your own then it may help you with dealing with all the things you are dealing with and who knows your husband might go later - take care P7