no escape...

(****trigger warning just in case because I don't know what triggers you guys and I don't want you to get hurt****)

I don't know if these are some sort of undiagnosed medical condition, or body memories. I'm venturing to say the latter considering I've checked these things out on my own and needless to say either the conditions didn't match up (lyme disease) or if they did I'd be dead right now (heart attack, needless to say I don't think I would be living right now if I was having a heart attack every day).

This is from another post because I don't think I could bear typing it AGAIN and putting myself in bad places AGAIN

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I don't know when it started, but for years and years now at what seems like completely random times my neck will tingle. Not like the pins and needles kind but more like a fuzzy tickle sensation, and the only way to cure it for the longest of times was to pull my shirt collar onto my chin. Yeah, it's kinda strange and I've looked it up and there is no medical explanation

More recently though I've also gotten the same sensation + warmth in my right palm whenever a certain little alt comes out and the only real thing that makes it go away is hurting the hand (or maybe that just distracts me until it does away?) I hate hate hate that sensation.

I asked my former counselor about it and she said that she has no idea, and that it could be. (she was a nice lady but more often then not she wasn't helpful)

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It has gone from once in awhile (bearable), to "if it doesn't happen at least once a day then something is amiss" (unbearable) even as I type this I feel asphyxiated (which sometimes happens too).

Yesterday...a few days ago... (no concept of time really) I was very determined to become more knowlegable about these things, so I fucused myself on the sensation, and lo and behold it evolved into something more. As if through the tickly fog I can faintly feel someone's hand stroking my neck.

...creepy?
I'd say so.

it just feels like there is no way out right now. I don't know what triggers me, only have a vague idea of why I have them to begin with. I am aware of my surroundings so I don't even know what sort of grounding teqnique would work. It's not painful, just so unbearably uncomfortable.

grounding techniques can work - thats what I do when a body memory comes back - I used to feel like there was water running over my elbows it drove me crazy - recently the feeling evolved into feeling hands holding me down at the elbows - the body gives a clue - then more if needed - I use distraction techniques -

Im sorry you are going through so much pain - suggest you talk to your T about it - maybe they can help P7

But...I don't have a T

There was some stuff today but I was over at a friends house so it was fairly easy to ignore. On my way over to moms? not so much, but it comes and goes and thankfully at the moment it's going and not coming.

Our school has a T but she deals mainly with disabled kids and school issues BUT her webbie has a link to all of the mental health resources in our area, I'm thinking of printing that out.

you say she deals mainly with the disabled kids - but can you see her too? worth a try? and printing out the resources sounds like a good idea also if you go to the top of the page there is a sticky that has grounding techniques - these may help you - and keep pposting here - this is a great source of support and information - take care P7

That's okay P7

I don't know, there are a few reasons why I don't really want to go to her, mainly because I don't know if my problems are really up her alley, plus she'd tell my parents. If I was comfortable with that at all I'd skip the middleman. (it doesn't help that I saw her at a board meeting and for whatever reason got some vibes from her so right off the bad I feel like I can trust her as a safe person) This is of course assuming that I could even go to her because I get the feeling you could only go to her if she was on your 504 plan. I used to have a T as part of my 504 when I was in elementary school, but then for whatever reason they felt it was unnecessary once I entered middle school.

(PS for those who don't know: a 504 plan is a custom made plan for students with physical impairments; illnesses or injuries; communicable diseases; chronic conditions like asthma, allergies and diabetes; and learning problems so they have the chance to perform in school as well as other kids.)

Maybe you could talk to her about if you could talk to her if that doesnt sound too confusing... find out if she can help you or offer any other alternatives - worth a try.

kaika,

i stumbled onto a cool website run by a T. it seems safe and she seems like she really gets it and is experienced with dissociative stuff. just in case you wish to check it out it is:

discussingdissociation.wordpress.com

she offers some online help and some is for pay and some is free.
i've been reading her posts and they are very insightful and nothing has sent up a red flag - for what that is worth to you...

leslie and pixies

Your school T is there for all students who need her, not just kids with 504s (I'm a teacher and I say this with some certainty). That said, you don't sound like you want to see her. But she can help refer you to someone else! I strongly encourage you to talk to her and ask her for help in finding someone outside of school that you can see.

The other thing is, you can let your parents know you want to see a T without telling them why or having them know everything. It's not easy to do, but you could say, "It's private but I need some help."

Please keep us updated!