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#1
Feb 12, 2009, 04:44 PM
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So I feel like I'm on a slow spiral downward. Upped my meds, hasn't helped. I feel a little less every day. A little more disconnected. More tired. My mental/physical will to live is very low. Have a very real fear that one day I'm going to wake up and I'm still going to be in Georgia (8 years ago) and this has all been a dream and I have to do it again. Its kinda like I'm in limbo just waiting for the next thing and then it'll all come crashing down. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal by any means just my actual will to keep going is diminishing and I don't know how much longer I can fake it. And I've been faking it for so long and done such a great job that most around me don't know there's a problem. *sigh* and its only Thursday. I'm pretty sure time is slowing down, every day feels like forever.
__________________
Its raining on cloud nine. 
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#2
Feb 12, 2009, 07:19 PM
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sorry you are feeling so helpless/hopeless.
 can u call your t? this is a good time to consider asking him for help. sometimes i would get like you are....stayed that way a long time before i got help. i can relate to the masking of what you are truly feeling. it takes so much mental energy for us to do that. it just beats us down more.hope u feel better and that you'll consider calling your t.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#3
Feb 12, 2009, 09:34 PM
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Yes, sorry you're having such difficulties now. Putting the past behind can take a really long time, took me 35-50 years! It can get better though, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and looking for those who love you and can help and for any hope you can.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#4
Feb 13, 2009, 03:35 AM
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sorry you are feeling low -
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#5
Feb 13, 2009, 07:44 AM
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I'm sorry you're feeling low too p7. I'm not going to work today, just taking some time for myself. I have a therapy appt on Monday. Thanks everyone for your support.
__________________
Its raining on cloud nine.
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 phoenix7
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#6
Feb 13, 2009, 07:05 PM
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I hope your day for yourself goes well - and that your therapy appt gives you some relief - live in hope
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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