[AnthonyDerBlaue]

Five main areas of concern were general coping, anxiety, phobias, self-esteem and mania. Anxiety and self-esteem are obviously the main ones here (scored 70 and 75), although my anxiety is generally in social situations and what other people are thinking about me than things it would make sense for me to be stressed about (exams, future, no worries!).
Also scored quite high on phobias (83). I have a phobia of camaras. This is quite a problem in my city, where there are camaras literally everywhere. Thankfully it seems to vary on the type of camara; normal camaras being pointed at me just makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, noticing cctv camaras can lead me to the beginnings of a panic attack, although I can usually calm myself down, and speed camaras, for some reason, send me into a full panic attack if I have to walk past them. I don't even know why, I mean those are the ones I should worry least about (I don't even drive!).
I'm not sure I agree with the mania though: from looking at other people's accounts I'd say that they are probably just episodes where I'm not feeling down. Therefore I don't think I match the bipolar symptoms. What happens is that on the rare occasions that I feel bright and optimistic and hopeful about my future, I know that it'll only last a day or so until everything becomes hopeless and dull again. However, I have been feeling slightly better recently. I feel I am finally making progress in my life, and am not stuck anymore, although who knows how long this will last?

[AnthonyDerBlaue]

Anyway, I also have a lot of worries about being watched/there being people in my house. I always used to explain it as being scared of the dark, but it's not that: it gets worse when it's nighttime (even when lights are on), but it's there during the day too. As soon as it gets late, it feels like I have to constantly be on watch to make sure nothing's in my room, even if I logically know nothing is. It doesn't help that this tends to stop me sleeping until I'm completely exhausted, and when I get too tired my eyes start to mess up and I always think I see movement until I look and there's nothing there. I have to sleep curled up under the blankets and stay completely silent so nothing gets me (childish, I know), and I always fall asleep thinking at the back of my mind that someone will kill me, which isn't exactly helpful for a good night's sleep.
It also lists depression as a minor concern for me, which I would have considered more likely than me being bipolar to be honest.
Anyway, if anyone read this long and probably boring post about my problems (this is not even half of them!) then thank you for your time
Do you reckon that it would be worth me getting a diagnosis/going to a therapist? The problem is that I have so many little concerns, and I'm not sure if I can be diagnosed with anything, but they're still problematic enough to cause me difficulties. I wish I could see how other people think and feel, so I'd know if what I was feeling was out of the ordinary, or if it was normal...

[Travelinglady]

Hi, AnthonyDerBlaue, and welcome to Psych Central! Yes, I do think it would help you to see a therapist. Now, mind you, that doesn't mean I think you are totally cracked up. But I think you can have a more peaceful and enjoyable life if you can get rid of some of these issues.

It could be that you have a low level of bipolar--maybe not the diagnosis itself, but a bit more ups and downs than most folks. But I am not an expert.

I see a therapist, and I have found therapy to be very helpful. Plus, we even recommend that folks run these test scores by a therapist.

[AnthonyDerBlaue]

My problem here is that I'm not sure I could go and see a therapist, as I'm under 16. There wouldn't be any way to see a therapist without the consent/knowledge of my parents, would there? I have thought about going to see the counsellor at my school, but that isn't really possible since I'm doing my exams right now, and will be off school from mid-June to september (how horrific).
I have actually been sent to the counsellor before, because they suspected that I self-harmed, but I spent the time lying to her about the bigger issues, and only discussing the problems I felt able to discuss in a way that made them seem less severe than they were...

[Travelinglady]

True, at 16 you would need your parents to set up the appointment. Yes, you could begin with a school counselor, but as you say, school is almost over for the year.

Are you ready to see a counselor and actually talk about your issues? They are not judgmental, but are there to help.

[AnthonyDerBlaue]

I feel like I am beginning to feel able to actually sharing my emotions with others, especially thanks to this site. Since I've been a person who has always dealt with their emotions by bottling them up, it's been quite a change to be able to openly share my worries. It helps that I've been met with such reassurance and support here
My parents know to some extent that I'm going through difficulties, and have suggested I could see a professional if I thought it would be useful, so it's just about working up the confidence to ask for the help. Thank you all for your support

[Travelinglady]

You're welcome!