[Martina]

I'm sick of the side effects. Sick of it. I know these meds are saving my life, last year I was highly suicidal and now I'm not even depressed anymore. But I'm sick and tired of all of this.

I gained 80 pounds on Zyprexa. I've been off it for 7 months and only lost 15. I already had body issues, this sure doesn't help. My blood sugars have been high too, but not high enough to diagnose diabetes...yet.

The Lithium gives me horrible acne. I look like a fat pimply ugly piece of crap.

The Invega makes me extremely tired for 12 hours or more. I have to take it 12 hours before I want to wake up, or I won't wake up on time. I absolutely can NOT afford to be late to work. And even if I do wake up, I'm so groggy in the morning I can't concentrate. Yet if I take it early enough, then I can't drive anywhere at night, I'm too drowsy. I'm already falling asleep at 8:00. I have to push myself to stay up so I can at least spend ONE HOUR talking to my husband and trying to connect as a couple after our daughter is in bed. Our marriage is struggling, we need one-on-one time. But I'm so tired.

On the weekends I lay in bed all day. And my psych nurse says it's because I'm depressed. It's NOT that - it's the damn meds!!! I've even been so horrible as to sit my daughter in front of the TV and go back to bed.

I also just found out that Lamictal and Topamax (she was going to switch me) can lower the effectiveness of birth control pills. I'm on the Mirena IUD, not the pill, but it does have hormones, and I couldn't get a straight answer from anyone as to whether the Mirena could be effected. I absolutely can NOT get pregnant right now, for so many reasons. My psych nurse knows that and never told me about the side effect. I'm getting the Mirena out and putting in a copper IUD - no hormones - but that will take a couple months to get done.

I'm just sick of being medicated. I hate it. I want to be normal.

[crazymusiclvr]

Just hang in there. It sounds like you have been through a lot and from reading your post, GOD you are so strong! I wish I was that strong. Things have to get worse before they get better...trust me. Just stick with it. Do you trust and have good results with your doctor? If not, fire him! I've only seen two doctors that specialize in medicine but they have been RIGHT ON EVERY time. try a different doctor. I am on and have been on in the past a few of the drugs that you have listed but there is more out there and as you become stabalized, life will come together for you before you know it. Hang in there k. ~Lia