Anyone else experianced a long time to feel normal?

Hey, several months ago I started taking citalopram for depression. I was only taking 10mg and it didn't seem to be having a big effect.

I started to feel a bit better thought doing CBT and some other things and decided that I didn't want to remain on the medication. I had been on it for 4 months.

Since stopping I have felt really depressed and lacking motivation. It's different from when I was depressed before taking the pills. I don't really feel it is a return of the same thing.

I really believe that the pills have caused a change in my brain and now without them I feel terrible. I have read some peoples experiences of having to wait 9-12 months after stopping an SSRI before returning to normal.

I was wondering if anyone here has experienced anything like that?

I don't really believe medication is the answer and I think even if I did feel better on the pills again I would need to come off them at some point. I'm just really looking for some hope that if I wait this out then I will get better on my own.