[lazydaisy]

I'm not sure there is much I can do, but I was wondering if anyone has any experience or knowlege about depression and pregnancy.

I have been in a major depressive episode for as long as I can remember. I have had a few brief periods of feeling normal, but this overall feeling of sadness and fatigue has lasted since January of 2005 (6 months after the birth of my first child). I have reluctantly tried antidepressants on three occasions in my life since this really has been a lifelong problem (though not always to this extent). The first two were no help and made things worse. Well, the third time was a charm, I think. I took Lexapro and felt better almost instantly. I couldn't believe it and I was so grateful. I couldn't wait for 6 weeks to pass to see how it might affect me, hopefully even better than during the first week.

However, I happily found out I was pregnant one week after taking the meds and decided to drop them, which my doc agreed was a good choice unless I just couldn't bear it. I know I will be living a life that is less than what it should be (based on my brief glimpse into feeling good) though for more than a year. I am just doing my best to eat well and rest.

I don't know, maybe I just need some tips on other methods to get through this looong period of time. I'm going to look through the website a bit and see what I can figure out. It's just that this depression is so awful and long lasting. I am a stay at home mom to my son so that what energy and happiness I can muster is spent all on him and I feel he is growing very much in a stable and loving, if imperfect, home. I'd love to do even more, but for now, it's the best I can do. He is my absolute pride and joy and I'd happily (or unhappily, whatever) give up a year to add another bundle to our family, with the plans for adding the antidepressants back in after I'm no longer breastfeeding. I'm curious if anyone knows of any other options though and if anyone knows if my current depression is related to postpartum even though it has been so long... I've tried to diagnose myself with various illnesses many times over and this is the only one that stuck after having basic blood tests, etc... So I kind of assume I have an OCD, anxiety type thing going on as well? I don't know, I just don't feel good.

[lazydaisy]

I've been reading more info and am considering going back on the meds d/t depression not being good for anybody, baby included, either.