I don't know what it is but it's something I can't do. It doesn't matter what I tell myself eventually I stop taking them again. Last time I did this was a very bad move and I ended up in hospital for three weeks. That was a few months ago. Things have been going pretty ok since then. But once again I am getting into the habit of not taking my meds. I know that chances are I will end up just as bad again. But I can't bring myself to take them. It's like I'm willing myself to get ill again...? And I don't really know what to do about it.

[gayleggg]

I use an app on my phone to remind me to take mine. I gave up a long time ago about being able to live without them. I know that if I don't take them I will get worse. I choose to be stable. It's important to me. You have to make it important to you. Where the outcome is staying well.

[*Laurie*]

Which gives you the strongest sense of being rewarded - being on meds or off them? Generally speaking, people will choose the path that makes us feel most rewarded. Are there advantages that you get when you're off meds and not well?

[emory_]

It took me nearly 2 years from the start of my treatment to realize that I'm the only one responsible for making myself feel okay with meds. I would get into the habit of not taking them for a week and then having an absolutely miserable breakdown. You are in charge of making sure you can function, but I'm sure you already know that. Just make a habit of taking them. Make a routine- wash face, brush teeth, take meds. Even ask someone close to you to text you or ask you every day if you've taken them. Accountability helps a lot.

I try not to think about it.

[Mrs. Mania]

I do it all the time also and feel the same as you.

Thanks for the replies. I managed to come clean to someone and he has been encouraging me to take my meds each day. So far it seems to be working

[Soul Quake]

The alternative is hospitalization. I'd rather be medicated than hospitalized.