I don't understand

Why does everyone keep saying I need/should take medication. I really don't get it how many people my psychiatrist, my psychologist, the staff at the house why does everyone keep saying I need to be on medication I have explained mostly I guess not all but mostly why I can't take it and yet people keep saying just take it like it is nothing like there are no issues there I mean I guess yeah the others in their heads won't let them see but why can't they just ugh I just why does everyone keep bringing this up. I my head is going to fast I can't sleep I want to scream everything is so hard and I can't settle and there is too much noise and I am trying but each day is so hard to get through I can't everything hurts ugh.

((Eden))

This is why people think you need medication.

What coping strategies are you using?

Eden, I don't think most people have others in their heads that are like yours. Sure I have voices in my head but I know that they are parts of me, not others as you describe. These parts of me come mostly from different perspectives or different ages and, deep down, I am central to those parts of me.

Your others are different I feel, though I am not in your head so I may be wrong. These others are asking you to harm yourself and other people and that us nit what most of us experience on a minute by minute basis. When driving along sometimes a little voice comes to me suggesting I open the car door to see what would happen but I know that this is my voice of curiosity and my core self knows that to do so would endanger myself and other road users so I am able to tell it that I know it would be interesting but that it wouldn't be safe and so it should be quiet. I may not deal with things in the best way and others may do differently.

You don't appear to be in a position right now where you can reason with these others for your best intereat and these others are most likely caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and that is why people are suggesting medication because it can make these voices a little quieter and may allow you to get more in touch with you as a person, so you can decide what is right for you.

Just some thoughts. Take care.

But it would stop I just need to do the stuff for the others I have to I can't it is just hard cause if I am not careful the demons will hurt me and I can't fail again I can't we have to go soon cause otherwise something really really really bad is going to happen and then it will all start again and oh god I have ruined everything I didn't understand before I just I have to I can't it is hard to explain I should not have told them I didn't think but I also didn't know they had put something in my head before. I can't I don't know if I can do this there is too much to do I should have ugh why I but they kept it from me I didn't know and now I could have ruined everything I just they are going to hurt me I am scared I tried to ugh I want to scream. None of my coping strategies are working the only thing that even works a little is cutting and I have been doing that a lot I don't know what to do I need no I have to do what they say I have to.

((Eden))

OK, I can understand why you think medication won't help.

Have you sought any spiritual protection against demons?

They are not a chemical imbalance they are well some of them are Satans Angels others or ugh I there are a lot of different ones I can't explain right now my head won't stop I don't feel good.

Yes but it has to be done carefully because everything is reversed and if I go too much to one side the other will hurt me.

Eden how many people will it take telling you the same thing before you at least consider it may be true? You have your health team and many on PC telling you that you need medication and treatment but you don't want to hear it so you get mad and dismiss it. I know you are going to say you have answered this question a hundred times but what are you looking for? It seems to me you are looking for empathy and caring and want others to agree with you and to give you permission to do what the others in your head tell you. Well you will find the first two here but no one is going to tell you to listen to the others because they want you to hurt yourself and others.

I know you say that if you don't listen to them bad things will happen but I think the bad things you claim have happened before are more of a self fulling prophecy to convince yourself that you are right and everyone else is wrong.

So we can all sit here and empathize with you and tell you how much we care about you until we are blue in the face. But nothing is ever going to change until you decide to give yourself the opportunity to get better. It will not happen over night, it is a slow process but you are the one that has to decide to take that first step. Nothing anyone else says will make a difference until you believe you need help. You post on message boards about mental illness but you say you are not ill. However a part of you must believe you are or you would not continue to post.

So again we will continue to listen and care but that is all we can really do for you. The real help must start inside of you. You need to open up to the possibility that what others are saying to you is in your best interest and has some truth behind it.

I know this is going to make you mad and you will say it is hurtful but sometimes the truth is hard and it hurts. That doesn't mean we don't care.

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I don't know if you need to take Meds. I do know you need to follow medical advice of medical professional, that's much I do know.

The reason people advice you to seek medical help is the very nature of your posts. You describe very horrific existence judging by your own description of that condition ( suicidal self harming want to scream can't sleep can't eat can't get your thoughts together, everything hurts etc etc).

You also repeatedly state that you "don't feel good". If somebody doesn't feel good for such long time, people naturally advise to see a doctor and tell that doctor what's really going on.

I don't know if it is mental or physical illness but you are describing yourself as a very ill person. I don't know if you are mentally or physically ill , but you sure need treatment to get better.

If you aren't sick and are fine, then why do you think you aren't feeling good or are in pain?

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From what I've read, it sounds like Eden's others will do something which will affect her if she takes meds. That fear over rides whatever other feelings she may have. We can't understand how terrifying that must be because we're not her. The loss or harm the others may cause her is more of a concern to her than symptomatic relief. And even if it weren't for the others, she isn't convinced that the meds will work anyway.

Eden, can you talk to the others? How do you communicate with them? Do they mainly do the talking, or can you talk as well? What is your relationship like with them - is it always scary or are there some good things too? Can you tell us this or would they not let you?

they put thoughts into my head and show me things they can read my mind so anything i think they will hear. i cant tell you everything though but they are not bad they protect me from things and help me with stuff.

Then why aren't you feeling good if there us nothing wrong with you?

because there is something very wrong with my surroundings

Like what? Something at your house or at school or on the streets? I thought you said there are demons inside you not in your surrounding? What is messed up about your surrounding? Maybe that could be taken care of.

What stuff they help you with? You said you feel very bad. Should you start feeling better since they are helping you?

there are entities inside of me but they are not the problem the problem is that this world is not meant to exist and it is causing problems for the worlds that are meant to exist.

they help me with a lot of things but as i said they are not the problem.

I wonder why is this world ,that doesn't mean to exist, causing problems to you? Not to other people?

Should we all or at least very many of us suffer because this world didn't mean to exist? Why I am not suffering?

If the reason is this messed up surrounding then should everyone be effected, not just you? Or at least everyone in your area?

I thought you said they want you to kill other people. It kind of sounds like a problem to me. And weren't they the ones who keep telling you that bad things going to happen? You don't find it problematic?

Because all of western society has been systematically brainwashed to believe that there is a pill for every problem. Whether you would be better off with meds, i would not presume to say, but at least you have the sense to question it. Frankly i find the coercion and pressure disturbing.

What do you think would help?

I think it would help if people worded things more kindly and didn't do the specific things I have repeatedly asked them not to do. Also I think it would be helpful if people actually answered my questions and didn't just give their opinion on the whole thing I wrote without answering the very specific questions. Other than that what I think would help I will probably get in trouble for posting so I shan't.

Btw no of those concerns related to you bud fox they were just general

Ok i hear you. I was actually thinking more about what would help you with your difficulties, in terms of treatment or maybe something that is not treatment at all, like just having some healthy relationships and having someone help with trauma or family problems.

I think those around you are saying to take medication because the symptoms you describe sound like a mental illness and medication can help with that. If someone I cared about and/or wanted to help had a headache I would ask them if they would take some advil in hopes it would cure the headache. Same here, if someone I cared about seemed to have a psychosis going on, I would ask them to take medication for it in the hopes it would relieve them of suffering.

Could you consider giving meds a try for say a 3 or 6 month period and then evaluating whether or not to continue them at the end of that time?

My concern is that if you don't at least agree to try on your own that your family and/or doctor(s) may force it on you through legal means and once that process starts, it will be difficult to stop it.

At least if you volunteer to give them a try, you will maintain a say so whether to continue them or not.

Do you think you could maybe talk the others into seeing how that will work out for your good and theirs?

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

Well that was kind of in the category of I might get in trouble for posting.