I met with a new psychiatrist today. She's a psych nurse practitioner. From the get go, I have to admit, I was turned off by her. I had to sit in a chair that was against a wall, and looking at her face, there was a huge window behind her. It was sunny, and it made it hard to see her actual face and expressions. I had to answer a lot of hard questions that brought up things that made me sad. In the past, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. While I don't know if this is true or not, I have felt in the past its not true. She said she noticed some disorganization in my thoughts, and I know that paranoia (which I have sometimes) can be schizo.

I asked her who she was, like, meaning her credentials and where she went to school, what her background is, and she ignored my question. Instead, she said "I'm tammy." and went back to typing about me. She said I didn't seem relatable (I felt the same way about her actually). It really hurt my feelings. What hurt more though, was when I questioned her about it "do I really seem unrelatable?" She hesitated and then said "You're a little off." It made me feel horrible. I told her so, and she said "it just means you need treatment." I felt like I was back in grade school or middle school. "You're a little off."

I feel sick inside.

[hammerklavier]

Sounds kind of clumsy on her part...and as someone accustomed to seeing many patients, she should know better than to say something like that. I'm sorry you experienced that, it would bother me a lot too.

She wanted to see records from when I had the schizoaffective diagnosis, but not from more recently. I am not sure If I want to stay at this place. If I have schizoaffective disorder, thats fine. But Life just hurts lately, and she didn't make it better.

[*Laurie*]

Hi starrysky, I am so sorry you had such a downer experience with your provider. Wow. She sounds like a psych nurse practitioner I came up against last year. I gave the situation 2 tries, then went somewhere else where I was treated like a respectable human being. I was so glad I left that nurse practitioner. I do wonder why people like the one you encountered even practice medicine.

Please try not to feel bad about how that person treated you, because I have a strong feeling that her attitude says a lot more about her than it does about you.

If you see her again, can you be very open and honest and tell her how you feel about your interaction with her (and also, perhaps mention that the sun coming through the window is distracting)?

Another thought is making an appointment to be seen somewhere else.

Hi Laurie, thank you so much. I refuse to see that nurse again. The boundary has been set. I called the director of services and left a message. asked to be switched and told her I was very upset and insulted by the nurse. I left my number and she will call me tomorrow or next week probably. I am also thinking about going back to my old provider. I had to pay out of pocket for her, but It's something I might do. I really appreciate both your reply, Laurie, and your, HammerKlavier. Laurie, I think you are right. Her attitude shows more about who she is and her, than me. I had cried a lot today. And my mom came home, and she also was on my side. I ate some lentil soup and drank ice cold water, listening to music. Soothing myself.

[shadow2000]

Hi,

Are you familiar with the Freudian defense mechanism known as projection? Basically, as I understand it, projection involves seeing some of a person's own qualities in someone else and is believed to operate on an unconscious level. From what you've written, it seems likely that some of the things that the psychiatric nurse practitioner said about you probably describe her better than how they describe you. I can understand the nurse practitioner's desire to be personal with you by using her name and not focusing so much on her credentials and experience, but I think that part of her job is to answer questions (assuming that the questions are appropriate and reasonable, which yours was), and it sounds to me like she wasn't doing her job very well by basically sidestepping the question that you had asked. Also, when the nurse practitioner criticized you by saying that you weren't relatable, I don't think that you were doing anything wrong by questioning her about what she had said. Criticism can be helpful if it's constructive, and trying to get the nurse practitioner that you saw to explain what it was in you that she saw as being unrelatable might have helped you to understand something about yourself, if there was anything to what the nurse practitioner said about you. But it didn't sound like the nurse practitioner that you saw responded in a way that was at all constructive. Instead, it sounded like she was criticizing you in a way that most would find to be hurtful and not the least bit helpful, rather than being critical of you in a way that might help you to understand yourself better and take steps toward improving yourself. From the way that you described this psychiatric nurse practitioner, it sounds like she's the one who's "a little off" (or maybe more than just "a little" off) and that she might have been projecting something about herself onto you. I didn't see anything about how you described the way that you interacted with the nurse practitioner as having been off. I don't want to tell you whether or not to continue to see this nurse practitioner because I know that it can be hard to find a decent psychiatrist or nurse practitioner, but I think that I'd tend to be wary of giving the nurse practitioner that you saw the responsibility of making many of the decisions that would be likely to affect your mental health in a big way going forward.

[shadow2000]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

Please try not to feel bad about how that person treated you, because I have a strong feeling that her attitude says a lot more about her than it does about you.

Laurie,

I was working on the post that I was making in the time that you made your post here, but as you'll be able to tell from reading the post that I just made, I absolutely agree with the above statement that you made. It definitely sounded to me like the statements that the nurse practitioner that Starrysky saw made said more about the nurse practitioner than they did about Starrysky.

[TicTacGo]

To be fair, it almost seems like you are judging her capababilites (which it seems like you had reason to)

On your defense, she should know better, as I am certain that many patients ask about a doc or nurse's education in the field.

I do also understand the point that she may be trying to get in on another level, a personal one, which is tricky business because on the one hand, yeah it is nice when a person is more than just a mental health professional.
On the other hand, the reason why you are there is to get an unbiased and professional opinion- they have the knowledge and understanding, so need to be careful on how far they push to get 'closer' to you.

[usehername]

Originally Posted by starrysky

I met with a new psychiatrist today. She's a psych nurse practitioner. From the get go, I have to admit, I was turned off by her. I had to sit in a chair that was against a wall, and looking at her face, there was a huge window behind her. It was sunny, and it made it hard to see her actual face and expressions. I had to answer a lot of hard questions that brought up things that made me sad. In the past, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. While I don't know if this is true or not, I have felt in the past its not true. She said she noticed some disorganization in my thoughts, and I know that paranoia (which I have sometimes) can be schizo.

I asked her who she was, like, meaning her credentials and where she went to school, what her background is, and she ignored my question. Instead, she said "I'm tammy." and went back to typing about me. She said I didn't seem relatable (I felt the same way about her actually). It really hurt my feelings. What hurt more though, was when I questioned her about it "do I really seem unrelatable?" She hesitated and then said "You're a little off." It made me feel horrible. I told her so, and she said "it just means you need treatment." I felt like I was back in grade school or middle school. "You're a little off."

I feel sick inside.

As a mental healthcare professional, I think she is "a little off" and I'm sorry you had to experience this. I hope you found someone better. 💜

I can't imagine telling someone something like that! I have been in situations where I had to tell someone, "I think you're sick right now", but I would never word it that way! That's a character statement. I wonder if they don't do trauma informed trainings there?? Ok... done ranting...

I really hope you found someone you click with. It's so important. My own pdoc is rated terribly by others, but I love him (not in a weird way). He gets me, and he takes my thoughts, feelings, and income into consideration. That's how it should be. I feel comfortable with him, even when ill and even when paranoid. There may be some things I've held back from him, but it's not because I don't feel comfortable with him.

[usehername]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

Hi starrysky, I am so sorry you had such a downer experience with your provider. Wow. She sounds like a psych nurse practitioner I came up against last year. I gave the situation 2 tries, then went somewhere else where I was treated like a respectable human being. I was so glad I left that nurse practitioner. I do wonder why people like the one you encountered even practice medicine.

Please try not to feel bad about how that person treated you, because I have a strong feeling that her attitude says a lot more about her than it does about you.

If you see her again, can you be very open and honest and tell her how you feel about your interaction with her (and also, perhaps mention that the sun coming through the window is distracting)?

Another thought is making an appointment to be seen somewhere else.

All very helpful.

[usehername]

Originally Posted by shadow2000

Hi,

Are you familiar with the Freudian defense mechanism known as projection? Basically, as I understand it, projection involves seeing some of a person's own qualities in someone else and is believed to operate on an unconscious level. From what you've written, it seems likely that some of the things that the psychiatric nurse practitioner said about you probably describe her better than how they describe you. I can understand the nurse practitioner's desire to be personal with you by using her name and not focusing so much on her credentials and experience, but I think that part of her job is to answer questions (assuming that the questions are appropriate and reasonable, which yours was), and it sounds to me like she wasn't doing her job very well by basically sidestepping the question that you had asked. Also, when the nurse practitioner criticized you by saying that you weren't relatable, I don't think that you were doing anything wrong by questioning her about what she had said. Criticism can be helpful if it's constructive, and trying to get the nurse practitioner that you saw to explain what it was in you that she saw as being unrelatable might have helped you to understand something about yourself, if there was anything to what the nurse practitioner said about you. But it didn't sound like the nurse practitioner that you saw responded in a way that was at all constructive. Instead, it sounded like she was criticizing you in a way that most would find to be hurtful and not the least bit helpful, rather than being critical of you in a way that might help you to understand yourself better and take steps toward improving yourself. From the way that you described this psychiatric nurse practitioner, it sounds like she's the one who's "a little off" (or maybe more than just "a little" off) and that she might have been projecting something about herself onto you. I didn't see anything about how you described the way that you interacted with the nurse practitioner as having been off. I don't want to tell you whether or not to continue to see this nurse practitioner because I know that it can be hard to find a decent psychiatrist or nurse practitioner, but I think that I'd tend to be wary of giving the nurse practitioner that you saw the responsibility of making many of the decisions that would be likely to affect your mental health in a big way going forward.

You are absolutely right.

That said, the thought crossed my mind that maybe she didn't know she was being asked what her credentials were... not that that excuses ANY if her behavior... personally, I've had that question posed to me before and usually respond with, "my name is Angela and I'm a peer counselor here". Usually that's all anyone wants to know, but a couple times, people have followed up with, "what are your qualifications?" and then if course I tell them everything, including the experience you'd think wouldn't be relevant (fishing for rapport).

But yes, I totally agree with your post. This lady was off and out of line.

[*Laurie*]

I am so glad you've set a healthy boundary and requested a different nurse. Good for you! That nurse really sounds like a dud.

[shadow2000]

Originally Posted by usehername

You are absolutely right.

That said, the thought crossed my mind that maybe she didn't know she was being asked what her credentials were... not that that excuses ANY if her behavior... personally, I've had that question posed to me before and usually respond with, "my name is Angela and I'm a peer counselor here". Usually that's all anyone wants to know, but a couple times, people have followed up with, "what are your qualifications?" and then if course I tell them everything, including the experience you'd think wouldn't be relevant (fishing for rapport).

But yes, I totally agree with your post. This lady was off and out of line.

Thank you for your post. I think that you made a good point in saying that the psychiatric nurse practitioner's response to the question about who she was would have been appropriate if it was the case that Starrysky wasn't specific in asking the nurse practitioner about her credentials and background. But if it was the case that Starrysky had asked specifically about the nurse practitioner's credentials and background and only received "I'm Tammy" in response, then I'd have to say that the nurse practitioner basically wasn't answering the question that she had been asked. But I think that you're right that it might have been the case that the nurse practitioner didn't know that she was being asked about her credentials, depending on how Starrysky phrased the question.

[usehername]

Originally Posted by shadow2000

Thank you for your post. I think that you made a good point in saying that the psychiatric nurse practitioner's response to the question about who she was would have been appropriate if it was the case that Starrysky wasn't specific in asking the nurse practitioner about her credentials and background. But if it was the case that Starrysky had asked specifically about the nurse practitioner's credentials and background and only received "I'm Tammy" in response, then I'd have to say that the nurse practitioner basically wasn't answering the question that she had been asked. But I think that you're right that it might have been the case that the nurse practitioner didn't know that she was being asked about her credentials, depending on how Starrysky phrased the question.

I was just thinking of how many consumers have asked me both... it's not always easy to interpret others and really does depend on the phrasing. It's absolutely inappropriate to avoid answering that question, though. Like I said, when someone asks me what my credentials are (or even how I got my job), I tell them everything. I might even throw in extra detail like, "I was a chemist once", if I think it'll help the conversation along. It depends on who I'm talking to (I was a chemist for 2 years). If I'm talking to someone with a Master's in some sort of science, they might find that interesting and want to talk more.

Since you guys have been discussing this, I thought I'd respond to possibly clear things up. I said "So, who are you?" I got nothing and then said "like where are you from." I was basically trying to sound non-threatening. I didn't want to come out and say "what are your credentials" I know I could have put it a better way. But I wasn't able to in the moment, and regardless of what she was thinking (I truly don't know. for all I know she thought I was in a crazy alternate state of mind, which I wasn't), I didn't get a sufficient response.

I'm more concerned about how the entire thing went as whole, the way her attitude seemed, and the fact that she called me "a little off." That hurt so much and I cried so much when I got home. I am going to be speaking with the program director next week, and then I will figure out what I will do. It really, depends to me, on the program director's response, and if I do meet with the other doctor, on her demeanor and how I feel about her and if we get along.

On a positive note, I spoke with the clinic receptionist as well, and she seemed really concerned for me that I'd had such a bad experience. I felt hopeful after my conversation with her.

[shadow2000]

Originally Posted by starrysky

Since you guys have been discussing this, I thought I'd respond to possibly clear things up. I said "So, who are you?" I got nothing and then said "like where are you from." I was basically trying to sound non-threatening. I didn't want to come out and say "what are your credentials" I know I could have put it a better way. But I wasn't able to in the moment, and regardless of what she was thinking (I truly don't know. for all I know she thought I was in a crazy alternate state of mind, which I wasn't), I didn't get a sufficient response.

I'm more concerned about how the entire thing went as whole, the way her attitude seemed, and the fact that she called me "a little off." That hurt so much and I cried so much when I got home. I am going to be speaking with the program director next week, and then I will figure out what I will do. It really, depends to me, on the program director's response, and if I do meet with the other doctor, on her demeanor and how I feel about her and if we get along.

On a positive note, I spoke with the clinic receptionist as well, and she seemed really concerned for me that I'd had such a bad experience. I felt hopeful after my conversation with her.

Thank you for writing what you wrote here, Starrysky. I most certainly hope that speaking with the program director is something that will go well for you.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by starrysky

Since you guys have been discussing this, I thought I'd respond to possibly clear things up. I said "So, who are you?" I got nothing and then said "like where are you from." I was basically trying to sound non-threatening. I didn't want to come out and say "what are your credentials" I know I could have put it a better way. But I wasn't able to in the moment, and regardless of what she was thinking (I truly don't know. for all I know she thought I was in a crazy alternate state of mind, which I wasn't), I didn't get a sufficient response.

I'm more concerned about how the entire thing went as whole, the way her attitude seemed, and the fact that she called me "a little off." That hurt so much and I cried so much when I got home. I am going to be speaking with the program director next week, and then I will figure out what I will do. It really, depends to me, on the program director's response, and if I do meet with the other doctor, on her demeanor and how I feel about her and if we get along.

On a positive note, I spoke with the clinic receptionist as well, and she seemed really concerned for me that I'd had such a bad experience. I felt hopeful after my conversation with her.

It sounds like you are doing "all the right things." I still say that you got a jerk for a nurse.

[-jimi-]

Sounds like she had training but no social skills. I have also been "treated" by nurses who thought themselves as normal, but when I got to know them better I realized they are very abnormal but they somehow pride themselves with being sane, normal and all that and not even seeing the crap they do.

Some of the nurses are more than a little off IMO. There are good ones too and you know the huge difference when you meet a good one.

[still_crazy]

hi. maybe its a good thing she was like this early on? you can move on to someone else, hopefully, and do it asap ((personal suggestion)).

Anyway, please don't beat yourself up. I've had --terrible-- experiences in Mental health, inc., so I can relate. Take this as a warning sign, and don't judge yourself because of this "professional." :-)

[usehername]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

Sounds like she had training but no social skills. I have also been "treated" by nurses who thought themselves as normal, but when I got to know them better I realized they are very abnormal but they somehow pride themselves with being sane, normal and all that and not even seeing the crap they do.

Some of the nurses are more than a little off IMO. There are good ones too and you know the huge difference when you meet a good one.

I see that with mental health techs a lot where I work, too. Most of our nurses started as peers.

[RainyDay107]

I'd speak to my pdoc and request to see him/her only. Or at least someone else.