[TipsyTurtle]

HI. My wife has been seeing a Dr for two years for Borderline personality disorder. . After many years of wanting my step-son to see the same Dr., he was was finally seen about six months ago for an evaluation and about 5 follow up appointments. Since my step-sons appointment, the Dr has revealed what his diagnosis is to me but refuses to discuss it with my wife. Because of my wife's diagnosis and emotional reactivity, the Dr knows that if he were to discuss the seriousness of her child's diagnoses with her, that almost certainly he would lose her as a patient. The child has oppositional defiant disorder.

So I am stuck looking like a idiot to my wife and paying needless money since it was me who had serious concers about my stepson and now the Dr has my wife thinking there is nothing wrong with him. What do i do?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Turtle: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I'm sorry I don't really have a lot in the way of suggestions for you. What occurs to me is simply that there is a conflict of interest here. I think this sort of problem can occur when two family members see the same professional separately. So my thinking would be that the best thing to do may be to have your stepson see a different doctor. Beyond that, perhaps this is a situation that needs to be addressed in a family counseling type of situation with the help of a skilled therapist. It's a difficult situation.

[reb569]

Originally Posted by TipsyTurtle

HI. My wife has been seeing a Dr for two years for Borderline personality disorder. . After many years of wanting my step-son to see the same Dr., he was was finally seen about six months ago for an evaluation and about 5 follow up appointments. Since my step-sons appointment, the Dr has revealed what his diagnosis is to me but refuses to discuss it with my wife. Because of my wife's diagnosis and emotional reactivity, the Dr knows that if he were to discuss the seriousness of her child's diagnoses with her, that almost certainly he would lose her as a patient. The child has oppositional defiant disorder.

So I am stuck looking like a idiot to my wife and paying needless money since it was me who had serious concers about my stepson and now the Dr has my wife thinking there is nothing wrong with him. What do i do?

Psychiatrists, just like all of us, are unique to some extent, so I may be wrong, but it could be that the psychiatrist isn't worried due to money, but because of your wife's well-being. Finding a psychiatrist that fits isn't easy sometimes. Her moving to a different psychiatrist could set back her progress and he may be aware of that.

I think it would be best, in this circumstance, to take your stepson to a different psychiatrist, maybe one who specializes in Child and Adolescent psychiatry.

[possum220]

Originally Posted by TipsyTurtle

HI. My wife has been seeing a Dr for two years for Borderline personality disorder. My stepson he was was finally seen about six months ago for an evaluation and about 5 follow up appointments. Since my step-sons appointment, the Dr has revealed what his diagnosis is to me but refuses to discuss it with my wife. Because of my wife's diagnosis and emotional reactivity, the Dr knows that if he were to discuss the seriousness of her child's diagnoses with her, that almost certainly he would lose her as a patient. The child has oppositional defiant disorder.

So I am stuck looking like a idiot to my wife and paying needless money since it was me who had serious concers about my stepson and now the Dr has my wife thinking there is nothing wrong with him. What do i do?

Welcome to PC. It hasn't been a waste of money. Seems like there is a conflict of interest for the psychiatrist. The p'doc is more likely concerned of the fall out that could happen for your wife and step son. Both of them have established a relationship based on privacy and trust. For the p'doc to break that sense of trust is going to be detrimental on both sides.

reb and Skeezyks have some good suggestions about getting your stepson to seeing a different doc. Then there would be no conflict of interest.