[sarahsweets]

This isn't directed at anyone here. When I use the word 'you' it is a general you aimed at society and ignorance.

I have bipolar II, GAD, PTSD and ADHD. I have taken medication for it for over 15 years and my last inpatient stay was in 2003 and they found the perfect cocktail and I have been stable ever since. I know I am extremely lucky to be stable and not have to keep experimenting. I was lucky to have a really good doctor for 20 years. She just retired and I had my first appt with the new doctor and thank God she's agreed to continue care without forcing any changes on me.
I don't tell people that I am bipolar unless they are close with me or the topic comes up and I feel it would be helpful.
I have heard too many comments from ignorant assholes about "those people on depression meds", "crazy people", "hyperactive adhd people" etc. People that didnt know I was a person with mental illness have made jokes about meds in front of me or passed judgement about medication around me. If I feel its worth it to disclose and inform I do, but most times they show their true colors with those comments and I ignore them- no sense in wasting my time.

If I did not start on my bipolar medication there is no telling what my alcoholism would have done to me. The fugue states I experienced would have continued to wreck my family and I would be going in and out of the hospital like a revolving door. My life is amazing and complete because of medication.
I also take adhd medication and have for 14-15 years. I am sick of hearing people compare it to legal speed, assume all people with adhd are like hyper little boys, or look at the motivation aspects of it as a flaw that I choose to have. I am literally a hazard on the road driving without medication. Imagine trying to pay attention to traffic and signs and lights while three people in your cars are talking with each other and you- that is what driving without medication is like for me.

Imagine walking into a room for something- picking up something else and leaving with it having forgotten the original thing you wanted, being late all the time or leaving something big to the last minute- that is what its like for me.

There is nothing wrong with me taking medication. There is nothing wrong with anyone who takes medication.
What about chronic pain patients? No, they are not lazy looking for "legal heroin". They are taking medication so they can function with the least amount of pain possible. They are not cry babies.

No one blinks an eye about blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes or heartburn medication. So why mental illness meds? What gives anyone the right to judge?
Your judgement is why so many people here and elsewhere share their concerns about becoming "dependent" on medication- needing it to function. They may resist or be non-compliant because they are playing the tape of your judgy words in their heads. They are getting messages from their loved ones and society that they are a failure, not good enough or weak because they need medication.
If you do not know how brain chemistry works, or how medication helps correct that chemistry then kindly go F yourself. Get educated. Understand the illnesses and symptoms. Put yourself in my shoes.

Imagine not being able to control things going on in your mind or your emotions and being told that its your own fault and that medication(scientifically studied, proven and effective) is just a cop out?
I love my life and I am blessed.
Seriously, F off.

[OliverB]

How do you mange side effects?

Sometimes I do not understand how people here can take so much medication and be OK.

I have complex PTSD and a mood/psychotic disorder and haven't found a medication that doesnt make everything worse

I have tried: aripiprazole, quetiapine, ziprasidone, risperidone, olanzapine, haloperidol, perphenazine, amisulpride, sertraline, paroxetine, fluoxetine, venlafaxine, nortryptiline, tianeptine, valproic acid, diazepam, lorazepam, alprazolam, clonazepam, zolpidem, and maybe something else I do nor remember (bupropion, ritalin, concerta....).

They always made me worse, made me end up in ER from side effects or made me suicidal.

I am really afraid of psych meds. And I understand them pretty well (i am about to graduate as a pharmacist).

I would never tell anyone to stop their meds, but for me it is impossible to understand how people are OK taking them (because I was almost killed directly or indirectly by most of them).

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by OliverB

How do you mange side effects?


Sometimes I do not understand how people here can take so much medication and be OK.


I have complex PTSD and a mood/psychotic disorder and haven't found a medication that doesnt make everything worse


I have tried: aripiprazole, quetiapine, ziprasidone, risperidone, olanzapine, haloperidol, perphenazine, amisulpride, sertraline, paroxetine, fluoxetine, venlafaxine, nortryptiline, tianeptine, valproic acid, diazepam, lorazepam, alprazolam, clonazepam, zolpidem, and maybe something else I do nor remember (bupropion, ritalin, concerta....).


They always made me worse, made me end up in ER from side effects or made me suicidal.


I am really afraid of psych meds. And I understand them pretty well (i am about to graduate as a pharmacist).


I would never tell anyone to stop their meds, but for me it is impossible to understand how people are OK taking them (because I was almost killed directly or indirectly by most of them).

I am in the same boat except no psychotic disorder. I have complex PTSD and they tried different meds with me for years that only.made me worse. When I finally said no more to meds, I actually got a lot better and found that the meds had taken something that was bad and made it excessively severe but then the trauma of hospitalization due to meds had made me even worse. Fortunately I am stable thanks to a lot of hard work by myself and finally one good therapist. I'm still considered disabled by PTSD and GAD/agoraphobia. But the agoraphobia is mild now, and I'm doing really well. I wish there was a med that could help me but I've tried dozens and I'm unwilling to mess around with side effects any longer. I have slowly been trying buspar under strict supervision and there are no side effects so far but not much relief either.

Meds do help a lot of people though and the stigma against them is unfair. When I think if PTSD and how trauma has quite literally changed my brain, and how people expect us to act like they do when we cant possibly bc our brains have changed...its infuriating.

Anyways, just giving the OP and everyone who has experienced med stigma a hug.

[splitimage]

I know I wouldn't be alive without meds, and there's no way I'd be living any quality of life without them. That being said, I do sometimes wonder what my brain would feel like off them. I've been on some sort of med since 1999 or possibly earlier, that period of my life is a little fuzzy.

I'm now very slowly tapering off clonazepam, under my psychiatrist's supervision and I'm definitely feeling not normal. We're doing it super slow and with a cross taper onto Valium, so I haven't had really bad withdrawal effects for which I'm grateful. But now that I'm coming off it, I sort of wish I'd never been put on it - I've been on it since 2003.


I hate people who get judgy about psych meds - I'm like, you try living in my head without them.

But what I find even more interesting is that people are way more judgemental about meds that treat addiction, than they are about psych meds in my experience. I take Antabuse to help me to stay sober, and taking it is the only thing that works for me long term at the moment. I can't tell anyone in AA that I'm taking it because I get comments like, "If you just worked the steps harder you wouldn't need it." umm. no, I have lousy impulse control so I take it as insurance against myself saying F-it and drinking. Thankfully my program Women for Sobriety, is much more open to medication.

splitimage

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by splitimage

I know I wouldn't be alive without meds, and there's no way I'd be living any quality of life without them. That being said, I do sometimes wonder what my brain would feel like off them. I've been on some sort of med since 1999 or possibly earlier, that period of my life is a little fuzzy.

I'm now very slowly tapering off clonazepam, under my psychiatrist's supervision and I'm definitely feeling not normal. We're doing it super slow and with a cross taper onto Valium, so I haven't had really bad withdrawal effects for which I'm grateful. But now that I'm coming off it, I sort of wish I'd never been put on it - I've been on it since 2003.


I hate people who get judgy about psych meds - I'm like, you try living in my head without them.

But what I find even more interesting is that people are way more judgemental about meds that treat addiction, than they are about psych meds in my experience. I take Antabuse to help me to stay sober, and taking it is the only thing that works for me long term at the moment. I can't tell anyone in AA that I'm taking it because I get comments like, "If you just worked the steps harder you wouldn't need it." umm. no, I have lousy impulse control so I take it as insurance against myself saying F-it and drinking. Thankfully my program Women for Sobriety, is much more open to medication.

splitimage

I use AA and I know many women who
Use Anabuse. I also take adderall for severe adhd and only a few friends and my sponsor know because of the judgemental farts in AA.

[WastingAsparagus]

@sarahsweets

Yeah, this post really resonates with me.

I feel like often I succumb to the place where I doubt medicine. But I think that's just a manifestation of my illness.

Regardless, I have been able to catch myself lately when I've thought about going off of my meds. That is a huge step for me. Because before I would go off my meds and have another episode, etc. And then after that I'd go off meds for a day and think, "Why the **** did I do that", 24 hours later (usually fewer).

But it's really important that people get the right information. I absolutely abhor those "doctors" or heatlh-nuts who say that no medication is good. Or they say that people shouldn't take psychiatric medication because there are other, more "natural" ways of controlling mental issues.

No, seriously, I'd probably be WAY worse off if I weren't on my medication, and I certainly wouldn't have been able to cash some of the successes I've had lately without medication. That doesn't mean that medication defines me, rather, it helps me express myself in the BEST possible way.


Thanks for posting this.

[Mountaindewed]

I am also 100% dependent on medication. Especially my Geodon. My meds don’t even cause bad side effects. I totally agree with you.

[*Beth*]

I truly believe that if it wasn't for psych meds I would have been dead a long time ago.

But actually, there are a lot of people who have issues with all meds, not just psych meds.

[bpcyclist]

I just think it is really interesting that we judge the hell out of us, but obese people who don't revamp their diets and smoke and get heart disease and require meds for that, them we applaud as these grand victims. Same thing with diabetics. Same thing with lung cancer and smoking. Or vascular disease and smoking. It's just a bunch of bull****.

[LilyMop]

Originally Posted by OliverB

How do you mange side effects?


Sometimes I do not understand how people here can take so much medication and be OK.


I have complex PTSD and a mood/psychotic disorder and haven't found a medication that doesnt make everything worse


I have tried: aripiprazole, quetiapine, ziprasidone, risperidone, olanzapine, haloperidol, perphenazine, amisulpride, sertraline, paroxetine, fluoxetine, venlafaxine, nortryptiline, tianeptine, valproic acid, diazepam, lorazepam, alprazolam, clonazepam, zolpidem, and maybe something else I do nor remember (bupropion, ritalin, concerta....).


They always made me worse, made me end up in ER from side effects or made me suicidal.


I am really afraid of psych meds. And I understand them pretty well (i am about to graduate as a pharmacist).


I would never tell anyone to stop their meds, but for me it is impossible to understand how people are OK taking them (because I was almost killed directly or indirectly by most of them).

I had a bad time with meds also and I tried quite a few. I’m afraid to try again because at one point it affected my work. There were also a few other bad situations I don’t even want want to go into. I even consulted at length with a PharmD and I just couldn’t find something that worked.

[mgb46]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I just think it is really interesting that we judge the hell out of us, but obese people who don't revamp their diets and smoke and get heart disease and require meds for that, them we applaud as these grand victims. Same thing with diabetics. Same thing with lung cancer and smoking. Or vascular disease and smoking. It's just a bunch of bull****.

Your analogy is quite interesting. Physical disease that is both obvious from diagnostics, blood, imaging, etc...can be accurately diagnosed. From which an exact solution implemented for cure or maintenance. Mental disorders, chemical imbalances, neurological issue are still a work in progress. Often prescribers go through a lengthy ‘trial and error’ process before arriving at any conclusions.

Medication can be a valuable tool in treating symptoms of mental illness, but may not be the final solution. Point being, prescribing for physical ailments is considerably more predictable with successful outcomes, than for mental health.

No one is judging, the data simply suggests mental health diagnoses and medications are still far from being an exact science. Hopefully, this will change in the near future.

[AncientMelody]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I just think it is really interesting that we judge the hell out of us, but obese people who don't revamp their diets and smoke and get heart disease and require meds for that, them we applaud as these grand victims. Same thing with diabetics. Same thing with lung cancer and smoking. Or vascular disease and smoking. It's just a bunch of bull****.

Really???? That's strange because I see a LOT of people get fat-shamed. Yes there is a "body positive movement" out there but there are plenty of people who get judged for being obese. It sounds like you are pretty critical of smokers and obese people yourself, which is pretty interesting because people with mental illness have higher rates of obesity precisely due to the symptoms of the illness themselves increasing addiction/increased difficulty of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Add to that the risk of some mental health meds actually causing obesity/diabetes directly